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never text while at a soccer game

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I was at Wall Mart in Scottsboro AL (wife's family lives there after building a nuke plant) 40 something, ahhh not well kept rather over weight woman in what my grandmother would have called a house dress is in front of me at check out. Woman pulls a wad of bills out of her Dolly Partonesque bosom. Counts out bills on the counter.

The clerk looks at her in shock. Pulls out a pencil and starts separating the bills with a pencil eraser. Proceeds to whip out a roll of paper towels and blots all the bills, noticeably wet. Flips them over and blots the other side. Puts the towels back and counts out the cash and provides change. All I could do not to laugh out loud.
 
when the rental place is out of adult size

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If your depth perception is this bad.... um outfield may not be the position for you

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he is so sad I actually feel sorry for him
 
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