You should probably have died ... when?

Discussion in 'Chit-Chat' started by T Y L E R, Aug 13, 2005.

  1. T Y L E R

    T Y L E R

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    Come on .. lets hear all the dumb ass s***e you've done that should have been your undoing. :eek:





    TY - *hiding the 2005 Darwin Award behind my back* :D
     
  2. LongIsland60

    LongIsland60

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    Not really something I did, but on an operating table when I was 7 or 8. Also could have broken my neck falling off a high-bar onto my head when i tried gymnastics one year...
     
  3. stevezero

    stevezero SILVER Star

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    Lets see, I'll try to break em out by chronological order...I'll only include the reallllllly close calls.

    1. 18 months old, stopped breathin in my crib. Mom rushed me to the nurse next door, and she got me breathin again....

    2. 10 years old. fishin at my grandparents lake, and stepped out of the rowboat right onto a water moccasin. snake was 6 1/2 feet long, very poisonous, and very very very pissed at me steppin on it right behind the head. It started to wrap itself around my leg. I tried to pin it with my tackle box and fishin rod, and levitated myself over a chain link fence. Hauled butt up to the door and rain inside the house.


    3. 13 years old. Playin hockey in the street with brooms and roller skates. friend of mine hits me with a bike. I hold out the broom to try to stop him, which breaks the broomstick in half, and plants one side of the broomstick deep in my right side. Punctured my lung, scraped my liver. Fortunately the shirt went in with it (about 5 inches deep), so it kept the splinters away. Spent 5 days in the hospital lettin it heal from the inside out. I can honestly say I know what childbirth must feel like, because they had to unpack the gauze in the wound, clean it, and repack it 4x a day. Took 4 nurses and 2 orderlies to hold me down (I was 75 lbs)....

    4. 18 years old. Whacked my head on a steel crossbeam while at work. Dont recall drivin home, drivin to pick up my tux for my sisters wedding, dont remember bein at my gf's house all evening, or the drive home across town. Only remember wakin up violently sick, and on my way to the hosp. Couple of CT scans and another weekend in the hosp, and I go home.

    5. 24 years old. Rolled over my brand new 1994 toyota tacoma 4x4 sr5 3 1/4 times and walked away less than a week before Christmas. That was truely a miracle. Hit a patch of oil/antifreeze on an interstate onrampDamn thing spun around, hit a curb with the right rear and launched. it snapped over like a sprint car, landing on the drivers windshield post each time. Climbed out the drivers window (ended up on its passenger side) and walked away. It pushed the drivers side roof down 11 inches in the front and 8 in the back. Went to the hosp (was a workers comp situation). Remember goin to the impound yard to get my stuff out of the truck, and dont remember anythin for the next two weeks (including the conception of our daughter, which was apparently a magical event).....dont make any smartass comments ..........

    Those are just the major close calls. I'm sure 10 years of bmx stuff, skateboardin, and other boyhood pursuits would account for many more......














    Oh yeah, forgot the closest call. Havin a gf's mom come out to the car in the driveway one night only to find her daughter layin across the bench seat polishing somethin.........I swear I saw pure evil in her eyes, they were glowin red with fire......For some reason, I wasnt allowed to come over anymore.....
     
  4. skyshark186

    skyshark186

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    Ahhhh...so many memories. So many stories.

    Fell off cattle shoot when I was 8. Missed 10 foot thick cement pad with my skull by about half an inch. Resulted in the steel in my right wrist.

    Stole my moms camry in freshman year. Rolled twice full end to end. Yes. Separated shoulder, multiple contousions, severe concushion. Clinically dead in ambulance. Very wierd feeling.

    Halloween and some dude decided he didnt like me. Dislocated right shoulder, severely bruised face, broken ribs, peed blood. Rather than stomping my head into the curb(as he tried to do) he just stomped on my nose, leading to my interesting bulge. Dislocated his jaw before I passed out(just after he did). I awoke and drug my bloody self home. Shortly after dropping his car keys down the gutter.

    Shot from close range by 9mm. Story has been told here.

    Theres one more....but thats a harshly bad memory. We wont go there. :eek:
     
  5. Zack1978

    Zack1978 SILVER Star

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    When I hit an ice heave on the Stillwater Res in Upstate NY on my Snowmobile two winters ago. It was just about dusk and I was cranking along the res at about 45-50 MPH when out of nowhere the ice heave was in front of me with no time to stop. I was lucky in that the heave was more of a ramp then a wall, well I went off of it , and I was about 6-7 feet in the air as was my sled. I went to the left and my sled went to the right. I awoke to my sled laying on its side about 10ft away from me still running. I was not able to walk so I crawled to it and flipped it back over. The 2 things that were missing was the gas tank cover door, and a strut cover, and I found them quickly. I rode the sled back to the B&B and had to lie to the GF because she begged me not to go out on the res at night, I guess I should have listend to her! What was amazing was that when I got the sled home, all I did was bend 1 strut tube in a little bit, and that cost about $60.00 to fix, GO Yamaha!


    Zack
     
  6. Doc

    Doc

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    I quit breathing once as an infant, severe pneumonia leading to air way blockage. Luckily, the babysitter (my grandmother) was an RN and knew what to do.

    Once more as a toddler- Mom wrapped the station wagon around a telephone pole when coming back from the laundromat. I was apparently playing in the cargo area and launched out of the rear window. Only received a small cut on my arm, scar there today.

    That's about it for me.

    I had an elevator dropped on me more times than I can remember, but that was on purpose- and I was *fairly* safe.
     
  7. IDave

    IDave

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    I'm pretty sure I am dead. And you guys are all with me up in heaven.
     
  8. 89GASHOG

    89GASHOG

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    Really amazing stuff here! My stories pale in comparison. Driving too fast in snow, I lost control of a 4x4 p/u and almost went over a cliff. Some dumbass I was working with sledgehammered the hook of a taught hand winch, sending the thing whistling by a few inches to the side of my head. Another whistling projectile, namely a bullet, went over my head by a couple feet while I was hiking on a trail that some young gunmen evidently weren't aware of.
     
  9. T Y L E R

    T Y L E R

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    Easter break, as a youngster. Parents sent me to the YMCA for their break program. It was Sunday, and we were walking a few miles to the MacDonalds when two rough housing councillors knocked me clear into the centre of the first lane on a busy 4 lane roadway. (by accident) :D I laid there stunned for a second, but always figured I was on borrowed time from then on ...

    As an early teen, I was biking to the mall a few miles away. I threw my bike on my shoulder and walked across the train trestle and then climbed down a steep embankment on the other side. As my feet hit bottom I looked up to see a train BLAST by !! I NEVER heard a thing, but apparently it was just 20-30 seconds away from obliterating me ..

    Ottawa River in my 20's .. surfing in a hydraulic in my kayak when the current slammed my boat upside down .. no biggie. Except as I flipped upside down my left shoulder was directly beside my left ear ... and I distinctly heard my shoulder get torn from the socket. I hung there for a moment, under water, until I felt myself get expelled from the hydraulic, and then managed to do an eskimo roll with my one good arm. ;p

    I've always had a thing for heights .. and used to love hanging 30-50 stories in the air by my right hand .. walk out to the middle of the Rainbow Bridge between Niagara Fall On, and NF NY, climb over .. lower myself on the vertical bars .. and hang off with one hand .. waving to motorists with my left.. heh . Would do the same at my buddies apt. over 30 stories .. dumb s***. I was into climbing .. maybe I can blame that.

    Climbed up onto the gondola guide lines that go across the whirlpool rapids downstream from Niagara Falls . Went hand over hand to the centre. a single hand on seperate cables .. then proceeded to shake the s*** out of the lines, by jerking my weight down a few times. :whoops: It formed a wave that transmitted itself to the other side of the whirlpool, and then back at me .. never saw it coming!! Somehow I hung on for dear life as the wave took a few runs to dissipate fully.




    TY
     
  10. Razor

    Razor

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    Should of died when:

    Flying into Moscow with good ole Aeroflot-Russian Airlines ......high winds/fog in a small passenger jet.......holes in the floor, I could see the ground, all of our luggage (the entire U.S. Freestyle team) ski bags with 4 pairs of ski's each....piled in the isle way of the plane......the pilot decides to go into fighter mode and begins swerving back and forth wile decending rapidly.......we popped out of the fog and the control tower was right smack in front of us............we were all screaming, girls were absolutely freaking out.....pilot pulls up just missing the freaking control tower.........flips the plane around and lands......

    We all kissed the ground......next was the security scan with men in army suits and machine guns.........

    I have never been so freaked out in my life.....

    I have pics of everyting, but scanning really sucks.......no digitals

    Almost died 3 times on this trip.......
     
  11. Hossdog

    Hossdog

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    Note to self: Bring four leaf clover when wheelin' with TYLER, SkyShark186 or Stevezero..... :flipoff2:
     
  12. Cookiemonster

    Cookiemonster

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    Bicycle-v-automobile. Was 9yrs old, hobbled away on kruches w/ two broken ankles. That was the day I learned to stop at stop signs.....

    Father layed down a fat layer of rubber in his pickup, leaving me falling out of the back and onto the ground so the empty boat trailer we were towing could run over me.
    That was the day we learned it wasn't save to bust scratch with 8 teens riding on a flat bed.

    A few other less minor hits and misses but very lucky since.....
     
  13. Mr. Toad

    Mr. Toad

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    Bicycle redux

    December 1999. Sunny, hi temp about 70. Downhill at 35+ mph for about a 1 mile descent. At the base of the descent was a bridge over an irrigation canal. Temperatures had been below freezing a few days before, so there was gravel on all the bridges. Hit gravel, superman over the front, skid on heart rate strap on my chest, and barely stopped from sliding head-first off the bridge into the 12 ft deep EMPTY concrete-lined canal by a tumbleweed stuck under the bridge rail.

    Oh...It was so beautiful that day that I decided not to wear a helmet.
     
  14. Kanab

    Kanab

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    In 1969 as a DA 19 year old I join the Marine Corp
     
  15. stinkyfj60

    stinkyfj60

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    When I was 17 I got my first GTO, a 1968 400 HO that was slighty built and had a KILLER shift kit in the stock TH400. We have this narrow curvy road that goes North out of town over a bridge and by the golf course. There is this one TIGHT curve that I used to enter at say 80mph, tap the breaks and downshift ... then I would floor it halfway through and come ripping out of the turn and upshift at 80-85mph and fly up the straightaway nearing 120mph, then slam on the brakes to make the stop sign. GREAT FUN! Nothing like making a bigblock car that doesnt want to turn power its way through...

    So, I had a budy that had never really experienced what my GTO was all about, and wanted a ride. So I took him up that road on a killer tear. But when I entered that turn, I did somthing wrong and the back end of the Goat locked up, sending the ass end around at near 80mph. We came out of the turn sliding backwards with tires smoking. WHOOOO!

    When it came to a stop I looked at my friend, he had a DEATH grip on the seat and his eyes were HUGE. He didnt talk much after that.

    About a half a year later a guy had a BUILT Mustang running up that road. Missed a turn at speed, rolled and killed the passenger.
     
  16. mountainman

    mountainman

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    Spent ten days in May of 1969 on Hamburger Hill.
     
  17. hodag

    hodag

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    On a 1973 GT750 Suzuki "water buffalo", racing a Ninja, last glance down said 140mph. Front end suddenly got light, then came back down hard, sending me into one of those barely controlled wobbles. Got it back under control (sort of), backed off the throttle, brought it to a stop. Then I pried my roommates hands out of the pockets of my leather jacket. He has never rode on a bike again.

    Lady in a Honda putting on makeup crossed the centerline. I am in a Freightliner propane truck with 4200 gallons of LP on board. I headed for the shoulder, front tire hit a mud hole, sending mud up and over the windshield. At this time I am still wrestling the wheel and trying to stop the truck, but now Im blind also. The wiper switch is behind the steering wheel on the dash, so I tried to get the truck stopped first without killing anyone, before cleaning the glass. Once I stopped, and cleaned the windshield, I was on the opposite shoulder, facing the other direction. I sat there for a good half hour, waiting for my pulse to come back to normal.

    Hodag
     
  18. Skniper

    Skniper

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    uhh, man..hard to follow mountainman and Kanab's posts. But....one late night in college, drunk as s*** in the back of a pickup speeding down a curvy remote road, freezing cold out, a couple of us were shirtless and seeing who could hold a lit cigarette to their arm the longest (looking at my scars now)....I go to sit down on the edge of the pickup bed behind the driver's side and there is nothing there and my ass just keeps going down the side of the truck into thin air...caught my snap and grabbed the bed rail with nothing but my feet hanging in the bed of the truck.
    Seemed pretty funny at the time.
    I'm always amazed at some of the hardcore s*** the human body survives and surprised at how easily some buy it.
     
  19. 65swb45

    65swb45 Elder Statesman Supporting Vendor

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    Let's see how many I can remember!

    1. 4 years old. Ran across the street after a ball. Fell directly in front of a VW bug coming up the street too fast to stop! Luckily I didn't raise my head!

    2. 8 years old. Too lazy to use the downpipe from the roof that I had climbed up to get a frisbee. Just jumped off the roof instead. Two front chipped teeth later I learned you don't land with your feet together!

    3. 14 years old. Bicycle vs car. I got to see what all the muscles and tendons looked like inside my ankle. :eek:

    4. [edit] 16 years old. Pedestrian vs car. Hit on campus by a student driver. Did a Starsky and Hutch roll up onto the hood and all the way to the windshield before I rolled off the side of the car! Luckily, I was not killed or knocked unconscious. Dusted myself off and thought my leg hurt a lot until I tried to get up! Kneecap shattered into three pieces and all the cartiledge blown out of left leg so I had straight bone to bone contact. :eek:

    5. 18 years old. Third day out on my new 68cm [27" roadbike] Unfamiliar with that REALLY high COG. Couldn't lean far enough into the turns coming off of a local mountain road. Went over the handlebars, landed with my head approximately one foot away from a fire hydrant [not wearing a helmet] and ruptured my pancreas! 3 months in and out of the hospital for that.

    Then I got into wheelin and the real fun began!
     
  20. HawkDriver

    HawkDriver

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    That wire trick over whirlpool of niagra is just crazy man :eek:

    A couple typical Iraq stories:

    Night, night vision goggles, 2 ships. Picked up some dignitaries at BIAP (Baghdad Intl), was to make the quick hop over to the US main base, 3 min flight. We were forced to sit on the ground waiting for a C130 to taxi out of our way, bout 1 min delay. Take off and as we are making our approach to the pad I see a flash out the left side about 500m outside the wire, 5 seconds later the whole helipad area lights up with mortar hits, shrapnel shooting into the sky like a volcano (looks pretty under goggles), we do a go around come back in at combat speed and drop those dudes off and got the hell out. Heart pumpin for the whole 15 seconds on the pad. Thank God for that C130.

    Eating in the mess hall when just outside the building a rocket hits and shakes the whole building, everyone hit the deck while the dust settled, then we just went back to eating.

    In our living areas we have these Hesco barriers that are like chain link blocks you fill with dirt about 5 feet high. Mortar hits right outside the barrier in my sleep, I wake up and after we get out of the bunkers go check out the damage and parts went inside the shower trailer which was not protected, and one piece made it's way through an unprotected (sector of fire if you will) route into a neighboring trailer, goes through his pillow. Dude was on a night flight thank god.

    A few other similar stories, including getting shot at with small arms while night flying. Nothing like what those guys bustin down doors went through, for that I am so thankful, and I salute those guys, they are the heroes over there.

    Oh yeah a dud rocket crashes through the shower trailer a couple trailer groups away.
     
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