What's your favorite/most memorable bush/trail fix? (2 Viewers)

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batthewmrown

SILVER Star
Joined
Apr 24, 2011
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Location
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So, I was in the parking lot of a King Soopers (Kroger, for your Southerners), and there was a dude in a Volvo wagon with his hood up. Always after favorable karma, I ask him if he needs a jump/any help. He proceeds to tell me how his head gasket has blown and he's taken a concoction of egg whites, black pepper, and aluminum oxide deodorant (Mitchum) and dumped it into his radiator to seal up his head gasket.

I was mortified. My wife was mortified. He mentioned he had a diesel 60-series back in South Africa, but he sounded like a backwoods redneck who hadn't been outside of Gilpin County, CO. But he had just enough confidence to sound like he knew what he was talking about.

My question isn't if you think this is a good idea. Mixing baby chicken with a 2F or any engine is, objectively, a horrible idea, BUT...

It made me curious about the most f***ed up, backwoods, off-road, last-ditch repairs y'all had made to get your ass home.

And.......GO!
 
Although I've owned three FJ60s and an FJ62 my most desperate last-ditch repair to get home (back to college after a break) was when my '66 Mercury Cyclone GTA had some cooling issues while heading south on I-25 and I was losing water frequently through a split hose. The first stop was at some stranger's house along the frontage road south of Truth or Consequences (yep, the town's real name) to fill up the radiator from the hose bib in his yard. After that, no more houses or businesses for many miles. So I had to get innovative - when the situation got dire I resorted to dipping into the Rio Grande for some water. For anyone who's seen the river, if you can call it that, down in southern New Mexico it's pretty brown with silt and mud. I let the water settle for a bit to clear up some, and I got back OK. I don't think the 390 CID high-performance V-8 was very happy though.

On another college trip to visit friends in eastern New Mexico, emergency repairs to my roommate's car involved temporarily reinstalling the tip of the rotor with electrical tape. My roommate said his dad was a firm believer in never traveling without baling wire and electrical tape - that philosophy was obviously passed down in prime fashion.
 
A s***load of tequila at each stop and three different 100 mile AAA tows to get from Pismo dunes to Valley Hybrids after grenading my transmission hucking the dunes. I still had reverse so I jumped it one last time going backwards before the tow truck.

I melted a ground behind my dash (almost lit my truck on fire) and used a flashlight held by a passenger as headlights 10 miles out of the woods.

Peed in a friends radiator when it sprung a leak in the backcountry and needed coolant ( Toyota P/U)

Combined 4 lead battery terminals into 2 terminals to make a Dominics truck run at Pismo

Ran a constant hot 12v wire unfused on a toggle to my fuel pump and in cab off the battery to trouble shoot fuel cavitation issues.

Used a brass T fitting to pull fuel from the drain plug and fuel pickup to combat the same fuel cavitation issue.

Ratchet strap to lock my 4low in gear and not disengage.

A hammer and a hole in the floor pan for the 4wd shifter that I had to crawl under to engage and disengage when a wheeling trip came up while I was dropping twin sticks in.

Replaced a water pump in an autozone parking lot with only tools and parts purchased in store.

Blew out power steering on the box 900 miles from home. Looped the pump and drove home with manual steering and 37s.


Ive done a lot of really dumb stuff with cruisers and they just won't die so i keep running them...
 
2 years ago I was doing Swamp Lake Trail in the Sierras. I took a bad line and high centered my 62. Not wanting to keep the group waiting I pushed it back and forth to try and get dislodged.

The truck died and would not start as I had ripped out the O2 sensors and smashed the downpipe.

I bypassed the ECU and hot wired the fuel pump directly. Truck made it home with some bad lound exhaust leaks.



Another time in death valley I clipped a 'small' rock with my front diff doing about 10mph. The small rock turned in the wet loamy soil and nailed me like an iceberg on the transmission pan. The pinch welds on the skid plate were pissed and one actually cracked. As I jumped out and looked under my truck I could see trans fluid draining from my truck.

A friend with a 5 gal bucket captured the fluid. We removed the skid plate and used JB weld to patch the cracked pan. Let the JB weld set (thankfully fast setting JB weld) and filled her back up. It was snowing while this was happening and we had to get out before the storm closed in.
 
"turning" my rotors & drums with a drill bit held in vise grips on a beach in Mexico using the running engine turning the driveshaft with the other wheels off the ground - because the salt mist air after 6 months of camping on the beach had rusted up the rotors so bad I could barely stop.
 
So I had 2 main ones.

First was not really a fix but still, had my brothers BJ42, was running out of gas and still had over 80KM to go. Gauge was at E. Pulled over added a bit more oil to the 2 stroke fuel for the chainsaw fuel and dumped it in. Made it to the gas station at 12:10, that is 10 minutes after they closed. The guy saw us and offered to open the pump (this was the old ones without the Credit card machine attached).

2nd was my '85 F150 almost lost the carb on the forestry service roads. This was a 1 barrel with 2 nuts holding it on. Well one now and a zip tie for an additional 150KM (40+KM of forestry service roads and the rest highway)
Got me home ran like crap and I was glad I had a carb and not a TBI fuel injection.
 
A friend of mine used to do Backcountry tours in those old split-screen 23 window VW micro-buses into what is now Canyonlands National Park. He broke down on the White Rim near Lathrop Canyon. His rotor had broke. After trying everything he could think of, he walked over to the little shade tree where his passengers were to explain that he had no choice but to walk back to town. A lady was painting her nails and then it hit him. He used the finger nail polish as a glue and with some help from her hair tie was able to fix it.
 
Driving to college in upper Michigan - very rural - in a '72? Cutlass in the winter. Sudden deafening 'screeching sounds' from under the hood. The cast aluminum alternator case split open and the external alternator cooling fan was rubbing on the bracket.

Not too many gearheads in the car, but we had coat hangers and a Vise Grip pliers. We loosened the alternator, gingerly tightened (after breaking a few) coat hangers around the alternator case to bring it closed again, and then tightened the alternator enough to keep the belt from slipping. Not only drove it to Houghton, MI, when I saw the dude 3 weeks later he said he was still running it that way. I suggested he get it replaced....


Just remembered the best one - my buddy's totally rusted out $150 '74 Audi Fox. Ignition switch melted while driving and then exploded into a pile of bits on the floor when I turned the key (borrowing it without his permission). I pried off the connector from the back of the switch and saw a center connector with holes around the perimeter. I walked to a nearby house and begged two paper clips (all the lady could find) and got to where the car would crank or the ignition would turn on, but not both. Went back and she found a 3rd paper clip. About that time, some locally hillbillies in rusted out '76 Dodge Aspen came by and said, 'Do you know what the problem is'? and before I could answer, they offered, 'It's an Effin foreign piece of s***, har, har har....' Thanks guys.

I got all the paperclips to stay in the holes long enough to get it started. I did not know that the idle solenoid wire fell off under the hood - so with an automatic transmission, I had to shift into neutral and rev the engine at every stop sign to keep it from stalling and then pop it back into gear. I ran a lot of rural stop signs that night. My buddy was pissed, 2.5 hours later, when I made it back to him with my paperclip fix. We nursed it 35 miles home and I bought him (and installed) a new ignition switch the next day. Things you do in college......
 
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Driving to college in upper Michigan - very rural - in a '72? Cutlass in the winter. Sudden deafening 'screeching sounds' from under the hood. The cast aluminum alternator case split open and the external alternator cooling fan was rubbing on the bracket.

Not too many gearheads in the car, but we had coat hangers and a Vise Grip pliers. We loosened the alternator, gingerly tightened (after breaking a few) coat hangers around the alternator case to bring it closed again, and then tightened the alternator enough to keep the belt from slipping. Not only drove it to Houghton, MI, when I saw the dude 3 weeks later he said he was still running it that way. I suggested he get it replaced....


Just remembered the best one - my buddy's totally rusted out $150 '74 Audi Fox. Ignition switch melted while driving and then exploded into a pile of bits on the floor when I turned the key (borrowing it without his permission). I pried off the connector from the back of the switch and saw a center connector with holes around the perimeter. I walked to a nearby house and begged two paper clips (all the lady could find) and got to where the car would crank or the ignition would turn on, but not both. Went back and she found a 3rd paper clip. About that time, some locally hillbillies in rusted out '76 Dodge Aspen came by and said, 'Do you know what the problem is'? and before I could answer, they offered, 'It's an Effin foreign piece of s***, har, har har....' Thanks guys.

I got all the paperclips to stay in the holes long enough to get it started. I did not know that the idle solenoid wire fell off under the hood - so with an automatic transmission, I had to shift into neutral and rev the engine at every stop sign to keep it from stalling and then pop it back into gear. I ran a lot of rural stop signs that night. My buddy was pissed, 2.5 hours later, when I made it back to him with my paperclip fix. We nursed it 35 miles home and I bought him (and installed) a new ignition switch the next day. Things you do in college......
My son's a second year computer engineering student at Tech, he's a brother at Kappa Delta Psi.

Sunday afternoon in early 90's, deep in the sticks with a 1981 CJ7, fuel pump went. Rigged a hose to a gas can and gravity fed the carb all the way back.
 
Not on my FJ40, but the washboard roads of Death Valley pretty much destroyed my Willys truck. Used baling wire to fabricate a transmission mount and hold the brake caliper in place. It was a long ride out of Saline Valley. Then I sold it and bought an early FJ40......
06A49BF2-993C-4A42-8294-51205D2B7558.jpeg
 
My son's a second year computer engineering student at Tech, he's a brother at Kappa Delta Psi.

Sunday afternoon in early 90's, deep in the sticks with a 1981 CJ7, fuel pump went. Rigged a hose to a gas can and gravity fed the carb all the way back.
Hahahaha! I did the same in a POS 48 Willy's that the PO put 302 with electric fuel pump. Pump failed.. so I rigged an IV out of a 12 oz Coke bottle hung from the off road lights bolted to the windshield frame. I could drive a mile before having to refill the IV. Lol.. I replaced that jeep with a VW bug that I built into a Baja bug. Bug was way better in every way except the heater.
 
I'll add my story to this, as the OP. Not as extreme as some of the other stories, but harrowing for an inexperienced wrencher. I used to have a '78 E250. It was a former mail truck, lifted, 4x4. Pretty badass. We were driving from Denver to KY and about halfway through Kansas, it wouldn't shift into park. The c-clip on the transmission shift lever had fallen off, so I replaced it with a paper clip and drove it for another 2000 miles like that.

Van in question:
IMG_0437.JPG
 
Broke a 300,000 mile motor mount my 1st day into a a 5 day wheeling trip. It was probably broken 100k ago but I didn’t know til I loaded it up hard and pushed it.

The t case would pop out of gear under load. I thought the sound of the fan hitting the shroud was internal on the t case. I was wrong. On the 3 day I left my phone in engine bay only to see the motor jump 4 inches in the DS side when letting off the clutch in 4 lo.

Once I realized what had happened thanks to a phone call to @orangefj45 we ratchet strapped it down and I wheeled 3 more days without an issue. Then I drove it 1000 miles back home.

@FARMAN33 @samc2447 @houstonfj40 all saw this.

8A13B5C8-0256-4C0C-A970-C601D996015F.jpeg
 
This thread reminded me of a rally we raced in 10 years ago or so where we had a flat in our passenger rear rally tire...which sucked because it was a brand new tire and they are not inexpensive. When we got to the end of the stage we had some time to replace the flat. When we got the wheel off we realized that the lower shock bolt had broken and worn into the sidewall of the tire causing the flt. We found that one of our 3/8" socket extensions fit as a replacement and with the help of a rock we were able to pound it into place.

So last night I sent a text to my friend asking if he ever replaced it and he couldn't remember but there is a very likely chance that said extension is still holding the bottom shock mount in place.

1584995389725.png
 
I'll add my story to this, as the OP. Not as extreme as some of the other stories, but harrowing for an inexperienced wrencher. I used to have a '78 E250. It was a former mail truck, lifted, 4x4. Pretty badass. We were driving from Denver to KY and about halfway through Kansas, it wouldn't shift into park. The c-clip on the transmission shift lever had fallen off, so I replaced it with a paper clip and drove it for another 2000 miles like that.

Van in question:
View attachment 2245327

Saw a ford van just like this listed on CL out in Portland OR area recently. I just looked and I don't see it there now but it was mid 80's so same body and same raised roof. It had 350 V8 /auto trans though it looked a little cleaner than your old one :) asking price was $6000 and I was tempted as my sprinter is probably done for and I miss having the utility of a van.....towing, hauling, camping etc.
 
not a trail repair but road side. Lost my throttle. The tiny cotter pin that holds the throttle linkage to the accelerator pump lever failed (probably rusted out) and was launched into never never land. I was 40 miles from home and just finishing up my work day. Luckily I had a paper clip in my tool box and it worked as a retainer. If I recall correctly when this happened I couldn't throttle back down.
 
as above, not a trail but roadside lets get this beast home. alternator in the tow pig said "f%@k you, not playin' anymore" drove it till battery was flat. popped the battery out of the trail rig, threw it in n that got me to canadian tire. "what do you mean you don't have an alternator for that, for f@$k sake, it's '98 chevy? screw it' sell me 30' of #10 romex" yup, hard wired the now idling 4runner to the chevy battery. 41/2 hrs later we were home without a hitch
 
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Broke a 300,000 mile motor mount my 1st day into a a 5 day wheeling trip. It was probably broken 100k ago but I didn’t know til I loaded it up hard and pushed it.

The t case would pop out of gear under load. I thought the sound of the fan hitting the shroud was internal on the t case. I was wrong. On the 3 day I left my phone in engine bay only to see the motor jump 4 inches in the DS side when letting off the clutch in 4 lo.

Once I realized what had happened thanks to a phone call to @orangefj45 we ratchet strapped it down and I wheeled 3 more days without an issue. Then I drove it 1000 miles back home.

@FARMAN33 @samc2447 @houstonfj40 all saw this.

View attachment 2245502
ratchet straps for the win!
 

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