Redneck Marine

Discussion in 'Chit-Chat' started by White Shark, Jul 10, 2005.

  1. White Shark

    White Shark

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    Redneck Marine

    Dear Ma & Pa:

    Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt & Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile.

    Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

    Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

    We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

    The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors & Colonels just ride around & frown. They don't bother you none.

    This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

    Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though - they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and weighs near 300 pounds dry.

    Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry & join before other fellers get into this setup & come stampeding in.

    Your loving daughter, Gail

    P.S. Speaking of shooting, enclosed is $200 towards a new barn roof & Ma's new teeth. The city boys ain't very good at shootin' craps either...
     
  2. e9999

    e9999 You want to do what...? Moderator

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    Repost! :D
    but still lovin' it!
     
  3. crushers

    crushers post ho

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    first time i read it i recieved it from a lady in New Zealand... made me laugh both times...
     
  4. Cookiemonster

    Cookiemonster

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    Pretty dang funny all right.
     
  5. dieseldog

    dieseldog She idles just fine . . .

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    Just call her "Ms. Maggot".
     
  6. SCJO06

    SCJO06

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    Thats great!!!

    I went to parris Island with a guy named Tug Jordan,

    believe that s*** or not! I wonder who wrote this little "story"?
     
  7. NorCalDoug

    NorCalDoug problems solved daily...

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  8. krzyabncanuck

    krzyabncanuck USFS HOTSHOT

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    Thats about the size of it too ( talking about city slickers i is )
     
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