Man meet mango, mango meet neanderthal ..

Discussion in 'Chit-Chat' started by T Y L E R, Jul 10, 2005.

  1. T Y L E R

    T Y L E R

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    What is it about some fruits that leave you an utter mess when you're done ..


    I dished some low fat frozen yogurt and then spied the mango I'd been aging for just the ripe moment. I stood there poised over the sink, thinking ain't this gonna be grand! Deftly I slid the knife into the fruit with surgical precision, carving it into two halves. Halves that would rather stay together than be twisted apart, but I'd have none of that. I boldly grasped the two simese halves and twisted in a pathetic display of half witted control. Oddly the flesh stayed married to the core, and it was the skin that tore itself free. Not wanting to be wasteful, and quite aware that the skin cupped juice, I used the hand holding that skin to squeeze the sides together and try and drink of the juice, and milk some of the flesh to the open edge.

    Being pleased with my progress, I discarded the first half and began dismembering the second. Repeating my first technique so I could move on to the core, and all it's surrounding flesh. Since my own flesh was as juicy as the mangos by this time, I grabbed hold of the slippery fruit and began hacking slices off. Defied at every blades jab by a fibrous enemy, I took hold with firmer conviction, and began implementing a see-saw motion. Unlike slicing a banana where you end up with nice, neat slices, I ended up with a bowl of 3 or 4 bluntly hacked sections of fruit ..

    My face by this time was caked in the mangos juice from drinking from the half skins, and my hands were sticky beyond belief. I sat there knowing that even the half skin matrix technique would have come off miserably .. which made me feel a little bit less silly, but I still knew I had been defeated. This lowly fruit had, within moments, resolved this man into a gooey neanderthal ..


    Unkk ..



    TY
     
  2. bad_religion_au

    bad_religion_au

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    ty, just write your book and be done with it...
     
  3. Doc

    Doc

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    I had to travel to the Caribbean to learn how to eat a mango.

    Your mistake was trying to halve the fruit. Cut it in thirds. the 'middle' third contains most of the fiberous mess and the pit or seed. You can run a paring knife around the outside and yield some flesh. The 'outer' thirds you inscribe a tic-tac-toe pattern into the flesh with the paring knife, not penetrating the skin. Then invert the skin and hack off the blocks of mango flesh, or eat them off of the skin.
     
  4. Degnol

    Degnol

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    This belongs in your BLOG.


    Mango-Shmango



    Ed
     
  5. Jman

    Jman

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    You cannot have mango!

    [​IMG]
     
  6. bigbrowndog

    bigbrowndog

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    yeah the mango trees are loaded with flowers at the moment.Might be a good season if we get some rain here.Now you know what we mean in N.Q.when we say you have a face like a half sucked mango.cheers
     
  7. Nick the Carpenter

    Nick the Carpenter

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    cut the mango harf frozen, alot less mess .}}
     
  8. sandcruiser

    sandcruiser

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    peel. slice of pretty slices along the major axis of the fruit until you hit the pit.
    Flip it over and repeat.

    If you are a serious mangophile, then you can gnaw on the pit to get every bit of fruit off... in the process you'll get about a million fibers stuck in your teeth.

    or
    do the cut into thirds approach- that is the cleanest. You just end up with cubes instead of slices.

    mango season is here right now- there are football sized fruits falling off of the trees faster than they can be picked. The stores don't even bother to sell them because there are so many on the trees that everyone will just pick their own!
     
  9. Safado

    Safado

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    I'll mention one other technique I learned in Brazil.

    The skin is tough and will hold together fine, just beat the outside of it against something hard being careful not to puncture the skin. You'll eventually have a very softmess of fruit inside the tough skin. Bite a small whole in the end and squeeze the pulp out directly into your mouth. Repeat the process until you can't get any more out, or just tear the skin open and have at the stringy insides.
     
  10. Jman

    Jman

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    Are you sure that was a mango?
     
  11. mabrodis

    mabrodis

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    The cut around the center and twist the halfs off is for avacados, not for mangos. You can try (as you found out), and usually ends in either dropping a slippery-as-a-mutha mango or jabbing your hand with a knife, I have done both, the dropping is preferred.

    Mangos are great, just don't get too much of that stringy stuff by the seed, that's annoying and gets stuck in your teeth..
     
  12. thorvald

    thorvald .......

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    if your using a certain knife, you might want to wash it off real good first ;)
     
  13. NorCalDoug

    NorCalDoug problems solved daily...

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    That knife needs to go in the trash.
     
  14. Liam

    Liam

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    Woody didnt ban ole Ty did he?????
     
  15. mabrodis

    mabrodis

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    Not sure, but personally, I probably would have...
     
  16. trucruiser

    trucruiser

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    Havent seen him post up in a few since this morning's incident.
    Very Possible.
     
  17. Liam

    Liam

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    I really hope someone helps him out.....he will miss his cat tomorrow...
     
  18. okie

    okie

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    Being pleased with my progress, I discarded the first half and began dismembering the second. Repeating my first technique so I could move on to the core, and all it's surrounding flesh. Since my own flesh was as juicy as the mangos by this time, I grabbed hold of the slippery fruit and began hacking slices off. Defied at every blades jab by a fibrous enemy, I took hold with firmer conviction, and began implementing a see-saw motion. Unlike slicing a banana where you end up with nice, neat slices, I ended up with a bowl of 3 or 4 bluntly hacked sections of fruit ..


    Probably isnt the first time he's used this technique :eek:
     
  19. Jman

    Jman

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    okie, that was sort of my point :rolleyes:

     
  20. NorCalDoug

    NorCalDoug problems solved daily...

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    No worries Jman -- okie's running for the title of Miss Obvious of Northern California. :D
     
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