How to have the baby?

bigndn

 
 
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For those of you brewing babies (either past or present), how did you choose to have the baby (hospital, home, midwife, etc) and what are/were the reasons? Any experiences you want to share?

We're due June 9th and were planning a home, waterbirth. Since we live so far out of town, due to the possibility of complications, we have now decided to go to our midwife's birthing center. She's remodeled her daylight basement into a comfortable environment for birthing, including a large birthing tub. We feel hospitals are too invasive with all the checking/rechecking/rechecking and want to have our son OUR way. I'll be in the tub with my lady and actually catch him when he arrives. As for the waterbirth, the theory is that it's much less traumatic for both the mother and baby.

The midwife is there for support and guidance. They're certified in baby CPR and stuff like that. All my coworkers who have chosen the midwife route have used our midwife and have only great things to say about her, so we feel pretty comfortable with her.

:cheers:
 

TX_TLC

 
 
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Sounds like you have already made up your mind...but for us...hospital is the only way to go. Family history of difficult births all the "checking, rechecking and rechecking" might just save baby or mothers life.

If you have had no problems and want to, I think it is cool to do the home this or midwife but I pray that there are no complications that result is a loss that could have been avoided if you were at a hospital...I can't imagine the lifelong feeling of guilt.

Just my $.02...
 
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We did the home birth with both of our kids. Midwife and assistant were present . All things went well, but we made the decision after all preliminaries were done and no complications were evident. I was nervous as hell (and hung-over) at the first one, cool as a cucumber and sober at the second. Just make sure you have all your contingencies in place. Good luck and enjoy.

Jim
 
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TX_TLC said:
If you have had no problems and want to, I think it is cool to do the home this or midwife but I pray that there are no complications that result is a loss that could have been avoided if you were at a hospital...I can't imagine the lifelong feeling of guilt.
Exactly my feelings. If something goes wrong at the hospital, your child's/wife's chances of survival are at the best they are going to be, assuming all things are equal..

If something goes wrong at home aside from some minor complications the midwife is about as prepared as you are, unless of course you are a MD or RN or unless your midwife is a RN, but nurses are limited to what they have around them to work with.

There are too many unknowns for me to take that chance personally.

My real question is what is the benefit of doing it at home? Dr's and Hospital's are intrusive for a reason, because it is their job to make sure everyone makes it out alive and ok. Is your wife going for the natural birth, i.e. no epidural, etc?

I don't mean any harm but this sounds alittle "hippish" to me.
 

chitown40

 
 
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As a firefighter/paramedic, I'd recommend being with someone with experience the first time around, since the first time is usually the hardest on the woman. Here's a link to a birth my crew and I were part of. This was the nice lady's third child, and it came out like a bat outta hell so it made it pretty easy on us. The article is pretty accurate, except mom was calling all of her girlfriends instead of the doctor. I had to remind her to call her husband as we were riding to the hospital. :D

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/media/starbucks.html
 
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If my wife had done the homebirth thing, she would have died. Not to rain on anyone's parade, but having the best medical care and experts on hand for my family would not be an option, rather the neccessity. This would be nonnegotiable for my wife and I. I'd have dragged her to the hospital if neccessary.
You wouldn't trust a dealership with your Cruiser, so why would you trust a midwife, even if qualified, over a Doctor with years of supervised training, technical staff, advanced diagnostics equipment, and onsite neonatologists? Better care exists for your truck than the dealership, so you pursue that avenue, so doesn't it make sense to want the best, most qualified, most advanced and technical care available for two people who are infinitely move valuable than 5000 lbs. of steel? To me, it make no sense whatsoever. I lost a baby and would have lost my wife due to complications during delivery. My wife spent a couple of days in ICU and we thought that she might not pull out of it for a few days. If it had been a home delivery, she would not be here to raise our two sons born before and we wouldn't have had the son born after that event either..
I respect the fact that you want to have a noninvasive, cozy homebirth, but I don't like to deal in "what-if's" and "let's hope". Having a good midwife is nice and many are more sensitive than some of the Doctors out there, but they can't offer the advanced medical trauma treatments and diagnostic recommendations that a trained physician has been trained to exercise.
I wish you the best of luck with the delivery and I hope for a healthy baby and mother. I'm not trying to send bad karma your way, just another perspective.
 

tonkota

 
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We had both our kids at the hostpital, the second one wasn't as hard for my wife, and he came out just fine. But, Mason, my oldest son, wasn't breathing. Now, I didn't know it at the time because the nurses took him and were calm as could be, just doing their jobs.

I think they check and recheck because there is good reason too.

I wish you the best experience possible.

Oh yea, one last item: For the second boy, I fainted for some reason. Don't know why. But the wife razzes me about it still since she had the hard part.

Good luck. Being a dad ROCKS!!
 
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Wow! I really respect women who can do it natural. I tried, and thought I might die. So I called in the anesthesiologist. And the next time I didn't even try. I would like to use this time to thank God for hospitals AND anesthesiologists!
 

LandCruiserPhil

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We had problems at the very last minute and if we were not at a hospitable my daughter would not be here today. I respect your wants but I would have a hard time living with myself if something unforeseen was to happen and professional help was not close. We found out that there is always a risk even with perfect conditions.
 
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Funny thing is we did something on this in medical ethics... THe professor took an informal poll-- most of the women in the class said "midwife in a birthing center or at home" and most guys said "OB/Gyn in a hospital."

The professor didn't say which was better, but did point out that most Midwifes have delivered more babies that most OB-Gyns. The OB-GYN in a big hospital usually shows up when the head is beginning to crown, then waits for the kid to be yanked by the nurse-midwife/resident/intern, checks for 10 toes and fingers, says "congratulations, it's a baby" and walks back out the door to do whatever it was he or she was doing before.

Didn't necessarily say it was a bad thing, but that's the way it is, especially in big urban hospitals.

I guess I'd rather be in a building that has pediatric specialists and a neonatal ICU in case something goes wrong, but if nothing does go wrong, it's probably a better experience for all parties involved not to go to a big hospital.

Not all problems can be predicted-- but if it's been a clean pregnancy and the your wife's prenatal OB/GYN isn't warning you of anything, and you feel comfortable enough, go for the natural way if that's what you're leaning toward. Now, if the OB/GYN is worroed about something, different story.

Steve
 

bigndn

 
 
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First off, thank you for all your advice, experiences, and recommendations. While reading the above posts, I realized I had forgotten to mention a few things :whoops: .

We already have a 7 y.o. daughter who was delivered normally. I realize they say that after 4 years, the woman's body has totally recovered and the process is like starting over, although still not as difficult.

We started with a Dr's office in town, and had initially planned to drive to the hospital for the delivery, so we actually had 'baby specialists' during the initial phases of pregnancy up until about the 5th month.......ultrasounds, blood counts, etc. They all said everything was looking perfect. That's about when we decided to go with the home delivery and midwife. We had an appointment and 'interviewed' her and her assistant. Both before and after the appointment, I had been asking my friends about their experiences......the one's who had delivered in the hospital all said pretty much the same thing about how they wished they could have been more involved. Some of them had only gone to the hospital due to previously identified complications. I'm a 'hands-on' guy......I love biology. I've also assisted in many births (on the farm.......horses, cattle, dogs, cats, etc) :cool: .

Then the 'what-if' factor kicked in. One of my most trusted co-workers was formerly an EMT and I got some good advice from her as well. Due to a previous emergency and the subsequent 'drive-like-hell' to town, I know that I can turn a 35 minute trip into 16 minutes without much in the way of speeding. HOWEVER......that trip was accomplished at 0300 without hardly any traffic. So, then we decided that we'd rent the midwife's birthing center, which is in town and therefore much closer to the hospital (just in case).

Oh yeah.....CRITTUR: We both laughed hysterically when you mentioned "hippy-ish". Our midwife is probably an old hippy and her assistant doesn't know what a razor is for (read legwarmers), but women have been having babies without doctors a lot longer than with them. The Mrs. is Inupiaq Eskimo and I am an Osage tribal member, so we both have a more 'native' approach to a lot of things.

So, thanks again for all your input and recommendations. I'll be posting pics just as soon as humanly possible.

Anything else to add? I wanted to do a poll on this, but I couldn't figure out how to get it set up......I probably don't have enough posts :crybaby: . THANKS AGAIN!!!!
 
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bigndn said:
Oh yeah.....CRITTUR: We both laughed hysterically when you mentioned "hippy-ish". Our midwife is probably an old hippy and her assistant doesn't know what a razor is for (read legwarmers), but women have been having babies without doctors a lot longer than with them. The Mrs. is Inupiaq Eskimo and I am an Osage tribal member, so we both have a more 'native' approach to a lot of things.
Its Critter. :flipoff2:

Just messing with ya. You know no matter what your decision is we all wish you, your wife, and most importantly your future child the best of luck.
 

bigndn

 
 
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Critter said:
Its Critter. :flipoff2:

Just messing with ya. You know no matter what your decision is we all wish you, your wife, and most importantly your future child the best of luck.
Thank you very much! Sorry about the typo.......just messing with ya. :doh:
 

firetruck41

 
 
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bigndn said:
Anything else to add? I wanted to do a poll on this, but I couldn't figure out how to get it set up......I probably don't have enough posts :crybaby: . THANKS AGAIN!!!!
We are due on June 14, at the hospital. The OB-GYNs and nurses at the hospital have tons of experience as it is one of the larger birthing centers around, having spent a couple 8 hour shifts there when I was becoming a Paramedic i have a lot of respect for them. The nurse does a lot of the work and is capable of delivering whether the doc is there or not and as the baby is delivered several more nurses will come in the room if needed for assistance, in case the baby needs resuscitation, etc. The doc will usually check in every hour or so until delivery, then will be there to deliver and also be there in case there are any emergencies, or if emergent c-section is needed. A co-workers wife had long, difficult labor and had an unplanned c-section, baby was delivered less than 10 minutes after the initial decision to do it. There are surgeons, OB/GYNs, pediatricians, nurses, etc. all right there in the hospital if they are needed. The birthing suites are very comfortable and private, with a couch that can double as a bed for the father :) .
Also I believe you can have your midwife deliver at the hospital which is an option.
 

74fj40

 
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I was born in my parents bathroom, we didnt have enough time to make it to the hospital my mom was in labor only 30 MINUTES!! :eek: so theres how i was born
 
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My wife was expecting our twin girls when I changed jobs and relocated to Atlanta. We were pretty worried except her doctor recommended the doctor he did his intern under and we ended up at a great hospital (Northside - I think they deliver more babies than anywhere in the US). Planned on natural in nice comfy room which was nicer than our first apartment, but ended up in delivery room with doc/anesthesiologist/nurse team plus three additional teams of docs/nurses (one for each girl and one backup) due to someone wanting to turn upstream. I was very worried but everything went well (IMHO due to the well prepared hospital), I sort of like the boy scout mottow - always "be prepared"
 

Exiled

 
 
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I come from a country where (by necessity), most babies are still delivered by midwives. It was surprising to me that this was a trend in the US and that many people volunteered to do this, even preferred the midwife. I can respect this decision, but I do not share it, I would not want to add *ANY* risk to mother and child by depriving them from near-instant access to emergency care during a complication. I understand it's a more viable option when you don't live near a hospital, but I still think the latter is a safer option, even with low risk of complications.
 

fj40crusher

 
 
 
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Can your midwife do an emergency C-section?
Does your midwife have extra blood on hand for your wife?
Does this facility have any type of life support for a newborn?


If you answered NO to any of these questions you should be in a hospital. All this "better for the baby, bonding with my wife, it's more natural" talk is CRAP! Giving birth can be dangerous for both your wife and your infant. I think ANYONE who doesn't give birth in the proper facility is taking unnecessary risks. 100 things can go wrong during child birth that can be life threatening. It's not worth it, especially if your remote!

When my son was born (in a hospital) my wife was checked on I think twice prior to the birth. We had a private room with a tv, bathroom with tub and shower, couch...it was like an apartment. Very nice, private and quite comfortable. It was a great experience.
 
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