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Holy projectile vomit Batman

Discussion in 'Chit-Chat' started by T Y L E R, Jul 28, 2005.

  1. T Y L E R

    T Y L E R

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    When I met my ex .. she had a 4 and 7 yr old .. both boys. Well I became an instant stepdad, and I sucked at :D One nite we were in the laundry room when the 4 yr old came storming down stairs. He was obviously very distressed...we gathered he had hurt an arm . Well I scooped him up in my arms and held him against my side as you would any youngster and kinda rocked with him .. trying to sooth him for a moment. He was quite quiet so I figured I was doin alright at that point. I looked over and smiled at my ex ..

    Next thing I know he freakin burst my ear with the loudest wail you can imagine!!! I hadn't realizied it yet .. but he was a breath holder when he hurts himself. And all that time her had been kinda whimpering .. you know that sniffly, staccato inhalations .. you know .. the ones that eventually lead to one enormous blast of an exhalation???

    Well at that moment .. with him on my right hip .. his mouth an inch away from my eardrum .. I was done for. My poor little adrenal medulla shot the biggest dose of adrenaline into my system, and in my utter horror and startled fear I myself screamed!!! It was hillarious in a retarded sort of way .. he yelled .. scared the s***e out of me .. and I screamed a split second later before I realized what had happened.


    To which my ex puts her eyes back into her sockets and informs me .. "Yea .. umm, that one's a breath holder"


    Yeah .. unhuh .. thanks for the heads up !! :flipoff2:



    TY
     
  2. mabrodis

    mabrodis

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    Serves you right for telling him to suck it up! :D

    My son was about 7 months probably, ate an entire jar or two of peaches, he loved peaches...he just kept eating, which was a bad sign, since when he normally did that he would try to eat himself into a coma and then spit it all backup...I picked him up to burp and boom...it ALL came up, all I could do was turn my head down, throwup all over me, him, the couch, my head...it was a total mess...but the best part was when he was done, he looked up at me and laughed and was smiling...it was kinda funny...didn't really bother me though, one of the joys of being a parent, a wierd joy, but it's unique atleast.
     
  3. calamaridog

    calamaridog

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    My parents fed me on a tarp in the living room for the first 6 months:censor:

    I threw up every single meal.

    Count yourself lucky;)
     
  4. Doc

    Doc

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    So far, Leif is really good about not puking. A little comes out every now and then, but it's more like drool than vomit.

    We're definitely thankful.
     
  5. firetruck41

    firetruck41

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    That's funny :) We just got that swing thing with the fish in it, yesterday, for our 6 week old. Have you had him pee on his own face and all over his outfit while changing his diaper yet? :doh: :D
     
  6. Jman

    Jman

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    Better out the attic than out the basement! Projectile pooping can be quite a surprise. . . . . . :eek: :eek:
     
  7. swank60

    swank60

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    Man, I had a "new dad moment" like that once. I think Charlie was 6 months old or so, and I had him laying down, changing his diaper. He was making all of these cute faces, smiling really big, and of course, I had my camera handy...instead of putting on a fresh diaper, I started snapping away. Through the viewfinder, I noticed that his expression started to change a little...looked down and he was making like a fountain, peeing everywhere. :doh:

    Lesson learned...
     
  8. 82-SOA-60

    82-SOA-60

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    I can relate with 3putt.

    Our first son was around 6 months old and before work he would lay in bed with me. Well he is doing the goo goo gaa gaa thing and I laying on back dreading having to get up. So I roll over and look at the sprout just in time for him to puke directly into my mouth.. :crybaby:! My wife still loves to tell the story... :rolleyes:
     
  9. swank60

    swank60

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    He he he...found the photos...see the difference? :doh:
     
  10. mmw68

    mmw68 CruiserCrap.com - pimping crap for your cruiser!

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    OK - so the other day my daughter pukes right after dinner all over the kitchen floor.
    Wife freekes out a little because we are out of paper towels.

    I said - "I'll be right back" and headed to the cruiser, grabed the bag of "Oil Absorbent" and spread it all over the kitchen. Worked like a charm! WIfe thought it was damn funny! :)
     
  11. Jon in NC

    Jon in NC

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    Let me add my puke story:
    We had just gotten to the beach and in the pool. Been swimming maybe 30 mins. when my son (3 at the time) started coughing like he had sucked water inhis windpipe. I get to him just when he starts puking the partially digested cheeseburger he had at lunch, all over me and in the pool. My reaction was to catch it in my hands to keep it out of the pool. I wasn't very successful. Needless to say we didn't swim in the pool anymore that day.
     
  12. zetasig

    zetasig

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    Should have added little girl to the post. No more puking last night or this morning. Little girl craps like my older brother. 35, 5'6", 285 pounds, Plumber, neck like Mike Tyson.