So the doorbell rings at 2:45 am. This can never be a good thing. I debate putting pants on before I go to the front of the house. I can see through the translucent front door panes that there is someone standing on my porch. The porch is lit up like a Christmas tree so he is pretty exposed. White male in his mid 30s wearing a black t-shirt and black pants. He looked pretty strung out, probably a crankster or crack head. I crack the door a little (the storm door is still closed) with the chain still on the door and gruffly ask what he wants. He gives me the old "his car ran out of gas and he doesn't know anyone in this neighborhood and can we loan him a gas can" routine. I say no. Then he says he will leave his drivers license. I say no. Then he says please he has nobody to turn to, I say no and get the hell off my porch and close the door. He boogies away pretty briskly. We (wife and I) called the cops and the neighborhood security service but I still couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. It was definitely a hustle, but you have got to have some pretty big nuts to ring someones doorbell at 2:45 am. I was trying to figure out what his strategy was. See if the house was empty (two cars in front of the house)? See if we pushed any alarm buttons before we answered? See if some frail little old lady answered the door? Waited for me to come out of the house before he shot me? We have neither a gun nor a dog, but I am now considering a gun. I would not want to have one in the house unless my wife learned how to use it. She is tiny - 4'11", 92 lbs - and has incredibly small hands. She is also an ideologue and has an aversion to guns but she can't quite make the intellectual justification stick. I am pretty sure we can get past the aversion. So the questions are: What do you think the freak on my porch was up to? What would be a good gun for me and the wife and the defense of our home against freaks. C.