A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Montana , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.' The old rancher says, 'Okay, but do not go in that field over there' as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes...
One for you fireman...
One afternoon Fireman was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet.
The...
A mother is driving her daughter to her friend's house for a play date.
'Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?'
'Now really,' the...
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.
He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
The...
A man goes to a public golf course. He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, 'I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie.' The man behind the counter says, 'The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is...
Little Kowboy been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth. 'It's called...
Yesterday a woman answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a well-dressed little man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
We'll call him Nolan...
'Good morning,' said the little man. 'If I could take a couple
of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very
latest in...
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Bonham, Texas.
He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't...
Dating in 1957
It's the summer of 1957 and Butch goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue.
Butch's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo.
When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in.
"Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have...