Lawyers should never ask a Texan grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a small town Texas prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded...
On January 9 a group of Perkin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.
The leader, Kevin, a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"...
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and...
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what
their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up: fireman,
mechanic, businessman, salesman... and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so
when the teacher prodded him about his...
Then the cop smacks the crap out of ya with this night stick then walks around to the passenger side and smacks the crap out a your passenger the same way. The passenger asks "what the *~@^ did you do that for?" The cop replies so you couldn't get a mile down the road and say "I wish he'd a done...
TEXAS BEER JOINT SUES CHURCH over LIGHTNING STRIKE !
ONLY IN TEXAS ...
Texas Beer Joint Sues Church In Mt. Vernon, Texas, Drummond's Bar began construction on expansion of their building to increase their business.
In response, the local Baptist Church...
Kowboy is passing by Butch's hay barn one day when,through a gap in the door, he sees Butch doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the...
Information about Gonorrhea Lectim:
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent
strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's
pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'em," and it is a terrible obamanation.
The disease is contracted through...
Only in America...... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America..... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America..... do...
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end...