My dang unit's too friggin' short ... (1 Viewer)

[KOWBOY]

Done deal now ... and just in time for me to stay toasty warm when I pick it up tomorrow and get to sport around in it this comin' holiday weekend. Happy New Years!

 

[Domek]

Found me this in the interweb, hopefully works nice rig Kowboy, would be nice to see it at the Round up this yr.

 

[KOWBOY]

Happy Wyoming Equality Day!

So the Feds was puttin' a lotta political pressure on Wyomin' to make 'em fall in line and recognize MLK Jr. day as a holiday. 4 years it was tried to be shoved through the state legislature ... and 4 years it was shot down ... basic'ly due to lack of int'rest. As the political pressure increased from the Feds ... and they blackmailed the state by sayin' they was gonna shut down the federal highway money ... on the 5th year the bill was passed by the legislature. Wyomin' was the 46th state to give in and announce the day as a holiday ... but only by changin' the official name to MLK Jr/Wyoming Equality Day.

Therefore ... I bid y'all a Happy Wyomin' Equality Day!

And in order to celebrate ... I done run the Turd up into the mountains.

Even 40" tires and 550 hp can only get ya so far. Sure glad I gotta winch!

One of the tricks by the locals is to mount the beadlock ring so that the logo is in the spot where the valve is. That way you can find it when the wheels fill up with snow. Great idea.

 

[KOWBOY]

Beautiful, sunny day yesterday on the high plains of Wyomin'. So decided to head up to the mountain to see if'n the Forest Service roads were still open for the season or if the gates were locked tight. Very pleasantly surprised to see they was still opened up. So off I go on in just easin' along in first gear and 2wd to enjoy some pretty country and some good tunes on the stereo. Last weekend when I was home, I layed virgin tracks through the center few miles of the 8-mile road. Some really fun, high-horsepower snowbashin'. Since it ain't snowed since then, I was curious to see if anybody had taken advantage of the trail I'd blazed. And sure 'nuf, the weekend crowd had turned my tracks into an easy 2wd route for the Turd. Perfect. Low stress scenic drive.

'Bout 5 miles in, I come across these Folks ...

Openin' in the trees caused some driftin' over the established tracks and they stuck their 4wd, crew-cab F150 to the belly. Older couple with daughter and teenage grandson in the backseat.

Just can't imagine what they was thinkin'. Stock truck with street tires. No winch or even a shovel. No winter clothes ... just tennis shoes and a sweatshirt. No cell phone coverage. And on a weekday! Ain't likely to see nobody else. I've driven all over these roads on weekdays and never seen another sole ... even in the summer.

Needless to say ... they was sure glad to see me and the Turd.

I tried tuggin' 'em right after I snapped this pic and the Turd just dug straight down through the top crust. So I busted myself out and turned around and winched 'em free and encouraged 'em to go back the way they came.

Nice Folks ... but not to good at plannin' thangs out.

 

[Bodean]

Any updates on this rig? You haven't posted in a while and I was a little worried. Holla if ya hear me!

 

[Fireman]

Hell I tried calling him today myself.

 

[KOWBOY]

Alive and well Folks.

Only updates on the rig is trying to pay off the bills from the work that was done. Final bill at TNT and especially the bill for the million-dollar tailgate really put a hurtin' on me. But just 'bout got the ol' checkbook back in the black and hope to put the Turd back in the shop next month or so. Nothin' major, but a fairly lengthy list of lil' thangs that need tendin' to now that she's gotta a few miles on 'er. Then just gonna drive 'er all summer and fall and put 'er back in the shop next winter to finish 'er up. Even in the condition she's in, she's damned fun to drive and gets lots of attention. Might even roadtrip 'er to the Redneck Gig this fall 'fore she goes under the knife again.

Also got plans to put the Ford up on 40's this summer and re-do the rear air bags with a better design. Campin' season's right around the corner.

Forest Service Roads up on the mountain are closed for the spring until all the roads dry out so the idiots won't tear the place up. Been gatherin' up some campin' gear though to throw in the Turd and thinkin' on boppin' on down to Moab once I get the bugs out of the build. Travel light and fast with just tortillas and beer.

Survived another Wyomin' winter and life is good.

Carry on.

 

[Domek]

glad to hear you still alive and hope you can make the redneck gig to see the Xeep wonder in person...

Regards

JP

 

[KOWBOY]

So dropped off the Turd Monday before I flew back to work. Long list of not-so-major items. Got this pic today and it's cool 'cause this is the first pic in the history of mankind that shows all the stern lights workin' ... includin' the LED third brake light on the Million-Dollar Tailgate.

 

[KOWBOY]

So as Bob and the crew at TNT Customs work their way thru the punchlist, the emphasis is on the items necessary to complete a roadtrip and be as legal and roadworthy as possible. So with all the lights working now, Turd goes up on the rack to put a wrench on ev'ry nut and bolt to check for proper torque and do some adjustments to the steering. 'Cause I got me 'bout 450 miles to cover 'tween Cheyenne and Moab. Plan is to fly home Thursday night and then bust outta Cheyenne early Friday mornin' and ease on down to Moab (with several fuel stops considerin' the whoppin' 9.4 mpg that the thirsty stroker hemi gets).

First goal is to head directly to Woody's Tavern and get drunk.

Then very carefully ease outta town to Onion Creek Rd. and make camp somewheres. First challenge is anticipated to be settin' up the new tent for the first time ... in the dark and drunk. Then crawl outta camp in the mornin' and crawl right on up Rose Garden Hill and onto the Top of the World for some photo ops. Set up camp again Saturday night somewheres and then bar-hop my way back to Cheyenne on Sunday. Simple enough.

(Editor's note: I was not able to complete these two trails in the Ford so this is sorta unfinished bid'ness for me.)

This here's gonna be the first real test for what the Turd was built for. Drive to the trail ... wheel the trail ... drive home.

Hopefully the first of many such adventures.

 

[KOWBOY]

'Cause I got me 'bout 450 miles to cover 'tween Cheyenne and Moab. Plan is to fly home Thursday night and then bust outta Cheyenne early Friday mornin' and ease on down to Moab (with several fuel stops considerin' the whoppin' 9.4 mpg that the thirsty stroker hemi gets).

Gotta lil' later start than I wanted after pickin' up the Turd, peelin' most of the top off, and then loadin' 'er up with gear. But a mighty-fine roadtrip it was. Took backroads most of the way and just took my time. Road manners of this rig are simply outstandin'. And the good news is got 13 mpg on the road!

First goal is to head directly to Woody's Tavern and get drunk.

Did indeed stop off at Woody's first thang. Opened up the door and there was a band playin' WAY too loud so just closed the door and got back in the Turd. Back up bar has always been Club Rio at the end of Center Street. Had a fella tendin' bar so walked right outta there too. Hit the Atomic Grille on the way outta town and refused to drink there 'cause of another fella was bartendin'. Oh well, just kept drinkin' the ones outta my cooler.

Then very carefully ease outta town to Onion Creek Rd. and make camp somewheres. First challenge is anticipated to be settin' up the new tent for the first time ... in the dark and drunk.

Disappointin' that all the lower primitive sites on Onion Creek Road that I had camped before in the truck were closed off. Signs of progress I reckon. The last one by the cottonwood trees right before the big grade to pull up on the mesa weren't closed though so I pulled on in.

Not quite as drunk as I had anticipated but it was dark. New tent's only got two poles tho so I was able to cypher it out in the headlights of the Turd. Ate some peanuts and drank more beer starin' at the kerbillion stars.

Here's a pic of the camp I took in the mornin'.

Then crawl outta camp in the mornin' ...

Prior to embarking on an adventure of this magnitude, it's imperative that one begins the day with a healthy, nutritious breakfast ...

and crawl right on up Rose Garden Hill

After a not-so-slight navigational error.

Was just easin' along and enjoyin' the perfect weather and beautiful views. Easin' along for what seemed like a lot further than I remembered. A LOT further. Then I came across an intersection of two roads. Don't remember that so get out the map from the center console to open it for the first time. Damnit son. Missed my turn to Rose Garden Hill. 'Bout TEN miles back for Gawds sake. You gotta be kiddin' me. Oh well ... make a U-turn and enjoyed the perfect weather and beautiful views on the way back. Didn't give a hoot 'bout the lost time but sure was concerned 'bout the lost fuel I burned.

Once I made the correct turn, eased along a rocky road until I came up to Rose Garden Hill.

Lots written 'bout this bad boy since it's part of the Kokopelli Trail. Long and rocky with a series of ledges at the top. Didn't get no pics on the way up 'cause I was focusin' on pickin' my line. No spotter and no other rigs to assist left no room for error. Really a cool, challengin' climb that I enjoyed. Eased right on up without ever hittin' reverse or even spinnin' a tire. Good stuff. Once you make the hill, the majority of the remainder of the trail can be done in 2wd except for the occasional ledges. Great trail.

and onto the Top of the World for some photo ops.

Sure 'nuf love to have me a dollar for ev'ry rig that took a poser shot here! But it just ain't the same 'till it's your rig.

Lots of mileage 'tween Rose Garden Hill and Top of the World. Great way to spend the day. Top of the World trail had a lot more ledges then I expected and certainly kept it interestin'. But the Turd performs amazin' on the trails and I just eased along. Gotta give another shout out for the Corbeau Baja suspension seats for bein' insanely comfortable. No aches at all after a full day of bouncin' along.

Got down to the Old Dewey Bridge real low on fuel and realized it was too early to set up camp without a source of shade. Know there's shade at Woody's Tavern By Gawd. Gotta get my fix. So eased on the 30 miles to town tryin' to keep the rpm's down to conserve fuel. Made it just fine and filled the tank and headed to Woody's.

Can't say it 'enuf times that Moab is just a Mecca for outdoor enthusiasts and the best place to watch the flow of them is the outside tables at Woody's. Drank me a 6 pack watchin' the normal parade of rigs on the main drag. Nothin' like it in the world.

Set up camp again Saturday night somewheres

This spot at Old Dewey Bridge has seen me quite a few times. Shade in the late evening, lil' grass to keep the dust down, and free. Mighty fine.

This pic's in the mornin' after another late night of star-gazin'.

and then bar-hop my way back to Cheyenne on Sunday. Simple enough.

This here's gonna be the first real test for what the Turd was built for. Drive to the trail ... wheel the trail ... drive home.

And a beautiful drive home as well. Stopped off for lunch at a Mes'kin joint in Steamboat Springs for some chips and guac and few cervezas.



So it's done ... damn-near a thousand road miles and two great rock-crawlin' trails.

It was one helluva 3-day run.

 

[KOWBOY]

One of the new gadgets Bob installed is the onboard air system by 2-way air. It's really cool. Got air valves on the frame at each tire and four hoses. Plug a hose from the frame to each tire. Inflates and/or deflates all 4 tires at the same time with the gauge located under the hood. Operates off the big-ass ARB compressor. I like it.

Here's a close up of the valve assembly and gauge.

The new PSC power steering fluid reservoir is also nice and shiny in this pic. The new PSC power steering pump can not be seen in the pic. The two components put an end to my steering issues.

Course the Turd went right back in the shop. Drivin' up Onion Creek Road after dark with just the bad-ass LED headlights and runnin' lights just didn't cut it. So more lightin' is on the way.

 

[KOWBOY]

Got some cool aftermarket door hinges ...

That actu'ly keep the doors open ... even when at an angle.

Got some solid aluminum steerin' stuff. Cool stuff.

And made it easier to fill the fuel cell ...

Still workin' on gettin' more lights.

Carry on.

 

[KOWBOY]

Had to find me a lil' rock ledge to drive up on ...

So I could show off my new lights. Lil' light bar on the bumper and big one above the windshield.

After damned near a 12-pack at this point, weren't sure if'n the Turd was gonna quite make it 'tween these here two trees on the ATV trail. So I jumped out for a look-see and a pee. And decided to prove to y'all that them new lights actu'ly work.

And the lil' one's kinda sexy 'cause if'n you flip the switch the other direction, it lights up yeller to help see in the fog, dust, and snow.

Switches are in the middle of the dash where the power window switches used to be since I ain't needin' them no more.

Top left is the lil' light. Top right is the big light. Lower left is for the future rock lights and the lower right hole will be a switch for the interior lights when we get the cage installed.

 

[KOWBOY]

This shot is for nothin' but 'cause it's purdy ...

And so how much y'all reckon a good healthy Turd weighs???

Well ...

Carry on.

 

[KOWBOY]

One of the best thangs for sure 'bout readin' jeep forums is ev'rybody's an expert and ... therefore ... has an expert opinion. Seems lots of them experts claim 40's ain't no good for daily drivers. Or coilovers ain't no good for daily drivers. Or whatever. Well, I ain't no expert at nuthin' ... but I say drive what the heck ya want.

I love drivin' the Turd. And I sure enuf drive 'er ev'ry day I'm home ... or at least I used too (more on that later).

Fantastic for sportin' 'round town runnin' errands. Gotta admit she don't hold much stuff no more tho with the fuel cell and spare in the back. But the million-dollar tailgate and a lil' rope do provide some options. Like when I had to fetch my pressure washer from the repair shop for example ...

Lot more fun to haul campin' gear tho. I've found the North Face expedition bags to be darn-fine products and have had 'em for years. Got me one big black one that's perfect sized for the tent, mattress, sleepin' bag, and pillow. A portable hotel room. And it straps to the rollbar against the spare tire just perfect ...

Throw yourself a cooler fulla beer in the passenger seat and a big ol' package of fresh-made flour tortillas in the center console and your ready to head to the woods.

So why in the world woulda fella camp in the woods thirty minutes from his house?

'Cuz I can.

Enuf said.

And I get to drive 'round all day drinkin' beer and settin' up phenomenal poser shots like this one ...

Gotta say that the heavy weather in the background of that pic come on ahead and bitch-slapped me purdy hard.

But just pointed the bow into the wind, drank my beer, and ate me some tortillas. Rode out the storm with the stereo playin' ... and the heater on. Winds, rain, and hail for an hour or so. Smilin' the whole time and wonderin' what the city folk were doin'.

Skies done cleared up soon and the Wyomin' sunshine dried out me and ev'rythang else quick enuf. Monday was a great day.

Tuesday weren't so good.

Woke up with the sunrise and packed up my meager campin' gear. Was at the top of the divide so was actu'ly closer to Laramie than Cheyenne at that point. Figured I'd ease on down the mountain into Laramie for fuel and breakfast.

'Bout half way down, the Turd started goin' ape****. Horn blastin', wipers goin' back and forth, washer fluid sprayin' out. Pulled over off the highway and shut 'er down and pulled the key outta the ignition. And that didn't stop nuthin'. Popped the hood and yanked the connectors off the horn to shut it up. Was gonna pull the fuse for the wipers but the TIPM sounded like duelin' telegraph operators so I didn't mess with it. Closed the hood and started it back up and drove on. Ran outta wiper fluid soon enuf but the wipers kept on a goin'. Pulled on into town and into a gas station ... wipers still goin'. And the local Johnny Law pulled up behind me. Asked if'n I knew I was puttin' on a light show. So I looked at the sexy tail-end of the Turd and sure 'nuf ... it was a disco show with all the LED's blinkin' like a crazy. I showed 'im the key in my hand and tried to explain I currently seemed to have lil' control over my vehicle. He gave me a verbal warnin' that it weren't appropriate to be drivin' a rig in such condition. I agreed ... and asked 'im where I could get a decent breakfast 'fore I headed back to Cheyenne. He directed me a few blocks to a café. It was located right off I-80 and when I pulled into the parkin' lot, a state Johnny Law pulled in right behind me. Here we go again. Yes sir ... I am aware of the disco light show on my tail-end 'cuz a the local po-po just told me 'bout it. Yes sir ... I have been warned it ain't appropriate to be drivin' a vehicle in such a condition. He reinforced the concept by givin' me a written warnin' and encouraged me to get it home. As I walked towards the restaurant door, he asked how long it was gonna be puttin' on the show. Told 'im I didn't have a friggin' clue.

By the time I ate my French toast, sausage, eggs, and hash browns ... the Turd had come to it's senses and was sittin' there all innocent like. Like a dog looks at ya after it done crapped all over the new carpet.

But she fired right up and drove on home without issue. Parked the thang in my garage and unloaded all my belongin's from the entire vehicle. Hopped in my big-ass truck and drove right to TNT Customs.

Bob ... we got us a problem.

I'll be darned if'n I'm gonna spend a single plug nickel on the stupid JK electronics. Nossir.

Soon as Bob gets another openin' for a long-term project, she's goin' back under the knife. Rip ev'ry friggin' wire outta 'er. Set up the big stroker with a stand-alone brain and wire up the rest of the rig like a street rod.

And mize well swap out the seats and build the custom cage while he's got 'er.

To be continued ...

Someday.

 

[Fireman]

And?

 

[KOWBOY]

Fly home tomorrow and the Turd goes back in the shop Friday for the final push.

Stay tuned ...

 

[KOWBOY]

So drove the Turd back to the shop ... with wipers flappin' and lights blinkin' outta control.

Nothin' like gettin' a warm welcome from the shop owner. I do believe he's just tickled pink to have the rig back.

First step to the electrical exorcism is a brain transplant. Here's the new brain and engine harness to make the big, stroker hemi a stand-alone deal. Some assembly required.

Unit's from Hotwire in Arkansas. These are the same folks that helped Butch troubleshoot the brain in Brutus. Hemi's in jeepers is their specialty. Lots of long-distance calls and pictures between my man in Cheyenne and the fine folks at Hotwire to work out the design of the new harness to make 'er run right. Believe they actu'ly modified a Hellcat harness to handle my horsepower. Unit is totally programmable with HP tunes. Gonna have to find me a tuner shop with a dyno to dial 'er in.

 

[KOWBOY]

No turnin' back now.