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TRUE THAT
 
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So, I am at CVS waiting to get my vaccine and I spot this. Who knew you could be a professional butt wipe.

Professional def-engaged in a specified activity as one's main paid occupation rather than as a pastime. Now I need to figure out the pay part of it.

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Stan, I figured it out! It’s not about wiping, it’s about s***tting! For example, politicians; local ones are amateurs bull**** artists and use regular charming. As they move to state and federal levels they become professional bull**** slingers and artists, they qualify for this paper.
 
"Yeah, so John I'm sitting here takin a dump and I figured I'd give you a call" Just makes you feel soooo special.

On hold with tech support, excessively long conference calls, etc. They served a purpose back in the day

we had a multi line phone off our pbx in each of the two bathrooms at a company I used to work for in the 90s. we also had a cordless phone, so we could transfer the call to that, to "check the inventory" in the warehouse area.
 
The story of my life when I had my 80
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