These would be much funnier if not true

[Texican]

A MODERN PARABLE . .




A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (Ford) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents, and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners, and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes, and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India.

Sadly, The End.

Here's something else to think about:
Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can't make money paying American wages.

TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter's results:

TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.

Ford folks are still scratching their heads.

[Texican]

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Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third from Florida.

They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. 'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900; $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700; $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, '$2,700'

The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

The New Jersey contractor whispers back, '$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.'

'Done!' replies the government official.

And that friends, is how GOVERNMENTS works!

[TX_TLC]

Butch,

Those are great...and like you said they would be funnier if there wasn't so much truth behind them.

Did you get my pm?

[JONNYFJ]

Those are great HA HA and SOOOOOO True

[Bear80]

OUCH!
$7 vs. $103