Snow Run with the Jehovah Witnesses

Trollhole · 09-29-09, 03:05 PM

It never fails to amaze me the situations I find myself in when camping with my UC friends. This story is no different.

Me and 4 knuckleheads planned on going out to do some camping and exploring in the Western NC mountains back in March. The goal was to relax and possibly find some new trails up west of Brevard. Well we didn't find any.

What we had were 3 vehicles. One and a half Fj40's, a half FJ60, and a FZJ80. Now before you start adding all that up there were to the untrained eye 4 vehicles total. But to the trained eye two of them only counted as one vehicle.

Let me explain. There was an 80 series built to the teeth with everything running and working. There was a 40 with every at the beginning working properly. But that's where the line starts to get muddled between a total vehicle and something the Clemson Mafia has put together.

The other 40 while it had all the tires on it was missing quite a few things. For one it had no brake lights. Which made following it on the road an adventure all of it's own. I'm pretty sure it only had a few functioning brakes cylinders, windshield wipers consisted of some sort of battery powered devices that were not related to each other. This on top of the window squeegee you find at the gas station down the road from where we met. That was the defroster, as there was no heat in this cruiser and as a matter of fact there was no seat belts either. Just your butt cheeks to hold you on the bench seat.

Now the 60 was another story. It was sporting a highly modified transmission. This engine was so powerful it only needed 2nd and 4th gear. Forget 1st and 3rd they were for sissy's. This was the vehicle I chose to ride in as I thought it provided the best music (38 specials greatest hits that was scratched, skipped and stuck in the player), but what I was not expecting half way through the trip was the drivers door to stop working and not latch. Which now required a ratchet strap between the drivers and passengers door handles. It was like having another seatbelt on. By far the safest vehicle in the bunch.

So now on to the trip. 3 of the 5 knuckleheads went up on Friday in the rain to camp. Me and another knucklehead were smart enough to wait and meet them up there Sat morning in the rain. It rained all day Sat. We went from one blocked trail to another. It was a lot of fun. There was a lot of head scratching, map pointing and talking on 2 way radios that only worked one way. One knucklehead even decided to drive through someones garden to look for a trail.

Not that he found one and almost got stuck in the process.

But we had fun anyway. Me taking pics while others tried to kill me.

And now is where it gets weird. On our last road up near Whee we started down what we thought might be a prospective gravel road only to be blocked by a gate. While trying to turn around a young man comes running out of the woods all dressed up. We were sort of freaked out by this odd sight and at first thought we were trespassing. Only to find out as he would say he had gotten his Jeep liberty stuck down at his families house and needed help getting it up the driveway. About this time we noticed an even odder sight. 3 girls in their Sunday clothes standing out in the woods about 50 yards away from us. Not in the road but in the woods. They were all wearing dresses. Well no matter we had a Jeep to rescue. We took a tow strap out and started backing down a vehicle to perform the rescue. Me, I walked out into the woods to talk to the girls as well so did the Cuban. While everyone was working on getting the extraction done we came to find out that the house the guy was stuck in front of was not his families and that they were in fact Jehovah Witnesses who had decided to drive out in the middle of nowhere to a vacant house to try to convert some back woods folks to see the light. Only to get stuck. Lol. So once I got the Cuban calmed down and we got them unstuck they left. I almost forgot to take a pic out of respect for the lords obnoxious annoying faithful servants. But I said screw it and did anyway.

After this event we decided it could get no better so we decided it was getting late and to just drive up to Whee and get some trails in.

We ended up stopping half way through because the .5 40's carb fell off and we found a spark plug that was installed sideways. But no matter a little bit of tinfoil and gum and we were on our way. Trails were awesome. Weather was not. It pretty much rained the entire time. Cold wet rain. No matter as I was in the 60 with heat as well I provided the defrost for the windows with some napkins.

After a couple hrs on the trail we stopped at a campsite and put the tarp and tent up.

Is it me or does that look like a tree growing out of the top of the 40?

That night we had a great time and a great feast. Venison sausage, beef jerky, quail, pork chop sandwiches and some famous Rotel. Needless to say the fire stayed going all night in the rain and even let up for a few nice hrs.

The next morning I woke up to this guy trying to blow himself up with a propane tank.

It was cold and soon the rain turned over to snow.

At this point the Cuban was is a dream world. He had never seen snow until now and started kissing everyone.

So we packed it up and decided to head to the top and see what was going on.

The snow just got deeper

And deeper

Until we were at the top.

I kid you not the wind was living up to it's expectations up there.

Just look at this.

www.828rugs.com/UC/MOV09434.AVI

Then on down the trail where the Cuban decided he didn't like the road and decided to run off it and almost flip. I didn't get a pic but you would be proud of how well we handled that situation.

jfz80 · 09-29-09, 03:11 PM

Silly cubans

words dont describe the jealousy, but thanks for the afternoon laugh as I try and make up for playing hooky ALL last week on the pig.

Trollhole · 09-29-09, 03:11 PM

We then drove back the rest of the way down and stopped along the way at a Subway where Chuck and I decided to hurry up and get back before the snow got to the lower elevations. The rest waited and paid the price. Their windshield wipers froze and the Cuban resorted to using the window squeege as his new outside wiper. Yes that is right he drove home with his hand out the window clearing the snow off it.

I know what yo all are thinking

And yes we did. Had we know what we knew we would have invited all of you to experience the snow and the Jehovah Witnesses.

jleeFJ62 · 09-29-09, 03:19 PM

nice write up. Looked fun...can't wait for it to get cold here...

boombapslappy · 09-29-09, 03:29 PM

We ended up stopping half way through because the .5 40's carb fell off and we found a spark plug that was installed sideways. But no matter a little bit of tinfoil and gum and wew were on our way.

Shenanigans....

informationjunky · 09-30-09, 07:19 AM

I'm amaze that someone had a top on his 1/2 40, X2 on the jealousy....looks like a blast!

Brock · 09-30-09, 12:39 PM

That must be same snow storm I drove in from Columbia to Boone NC last Spring in my FJ....and nobody else on road from Hickory through Blowing Rock to Boone....9 inches that night....of snow not what you think. LOL

Good thing you all signed release forms, did a proper safety inspection, etc as required by club rules.

Trollhole · 09-30-09, 12:57 PM

Oh we had our ICE.

I let Chuck handle Safety inspections. Considering he had a lot of great experience from being safety officer for the club a couple years ago. Awesome job.

Brock · 09-30-09, 01:49 PM

Lol

boombapslappy · 09-30-09, 08:32 PM

My proposal for changes to the UC By-Laws regarding vehicle safety inspections...

As long as ONE (1) solid, safe, reliable, running Toyota Land Cruiser [these adjectives being the understanding/opinion/assumption of any reasonable person who is also a member of the Clemson Mafia*] may potentially be built from or of parts off of any and/or all of the "vehicles" (as seen and/or driven by those reasonable persons with an untrained eye [as opposed to those with the trained eye of a Toyota Land Cruiser enthusiest**) in attendence at any sanctioned Upstate Cruisers event, then, and only then, shall all "vehicles" (to the trained and or untrained eye) be allowed to pass the Official Vehicle Inspection and be allowed to participate in any and all events***.

*excluding Chuck, JP, Marshall, or the Cuban...of course

**excluding the Cuban, JP, Chuck or Marshall...of course

***excluding the following circumstances:

Rebuilding front axle with your toes

Removing rain, sleet, snow, ice from the windshield with a stolen squeegie

Trying to hit on Jehovah Witnesses wearing dresses in the woods

Using wooden blocks under jackstands on a steeply graded driveway in Mauldin

Allowing your carb to fall off...seriously dude...

Allowing your wheel to fall off...SERIOUSLY DUDE...

Deciding to repaint your 40...I mean fix a little rust...I mean replace the rear quarters...I mean TOTALLY FABRICATE A NEW TUB

Forgetting to reinstall the brake drums before putting the wheels back on JP's 62...oh wait...damn...that's my bad****

****Seriously...dude...my bad

UC is so much fun...

cruiser4life · 09-30-09, 10:40 PM

Most excellent thread Troll, watch out for the charging Tejas buck...

swampyCU · 10-01-09, 06:25 PM

Leave it to JP to take a .5 cruiser wheeling..... I have a story to add to that.... i went up to the mountains with JP recently (it was the first trip for my 80) and we were wheeling a little... he took the 62 that i sold to him... since buying it from me, he actually put bumpers on it... well he got to a spot that was kind of tricky and his bumper started to drag the ground... thats when i heard the loud BAM and then saw his rear bumper fall down... I immediately yelled at him to stop.... he got out and i said, "man you just ripped the rear bumper off your car." At which point JP said something to the effect of, "yeah im not surprised that happened. I went to the store to get the bolts to attach the rear bumper and i bought the wrong size (smaller than needed), so i put two bolts in it (one on each side) and ran with it." So in true JP fashion, he looked around, found a stick, put the bumper back in place, shoved the stick in one of the bolt holes, and away we went... i think half cruisers are JPs specialty. haha

ClemsonCruiser · 10-01-09, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swampyCU

Leave it to JP to take a .5 cruiser wheeling..... I have a story to add to that.... i went up to the mountains with JP recently (it was the first trip for my 80) and we were wheeling a little... he took the 62 that i sold to him... since buying it from me, he actually put bumpers on it... well he got to a spot that was kind of tricky and his bumper started to drag the ground... thats when i heard the loud BAM and then saw his rear bumper fall down... I immediately yelled at him to stop.... he got out and i said, "man you just ripped the rear bumper off your car." At which point JP said something to the effect of, "yeah im not surprised that happened. I went to the store to get the bolts to attach the rear bumper and i bought the wrong size (smaller than needed), so i put two bolts in it (one on each side) and ran with it." So in true JP fashion, he looked around, found a stick, put the bumper back in place, shoved the stick in one of the bolt holes, and away we went... i think half cruisers are JPs specialty. haha

and staying true to my 'roots' 2 months later that stick is doing its job and holding the bumper firmly in place..... I don't need no stinking bolts

great write up marshall prob. one of my favorite trips every! Can't wait to get up that way and wheel with you guys

boombapslappy · 10-02-09, 06:45 AM

So you're saying that I should stop worrying about my cruiser and just go wheelin' with JP who could fix anything as log as he isn't wearing shoes and has access to plenty of sticks or tiny bolts?

Trollhole · 10-02-09, 09:18 AM

Yes. Besides the one time with Richard breaking down in an unlicensed non uninsured vehicle on unauthorized grounds. I can say yes we have always come off the trail with the vehicle running.

All these runs were unauthorized UC runs and consisted of people who's wives or girlfriends didn't know what they were doing or thought it was better than the strip club down the road.

boombapslappy · 10-02-09, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollhole

Yes. Besides the one time...

LOL...There's always an exception to the rule...

89s rule · 10-05-09, 09:56 AM

great story as always nothing ceases to amaze when he wee is involved.

informationjunky · 10-05-09, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 89s rule

great story as always nothing ceases to amaze when he wee is involved.

Now who was it that me and Ghen found hiking out when we were late getting up there?

Trollhole · 10-05-09, 02:13 PM

That would be Jesus and his disciple.

89s rule · 10-06-09, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollhole

That would be Jesus and his disciple.

I will say that I had shoes on and that that granpa and his boy did give us a ride the last 2 miles.....since we had already hiked 7+ miles! urgggh. Man the stories that place produces.

ClemsonCruiser · 10-07-09, 08:08 PM

That was a long walk........ and it thought me the value of never wheelin alone; but it did make for a good story