Traumatic Brain Injury Talk (1 Viewer)

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate
links, including eBay, Amazon, Skimlinks, and others.

Helipilot said:
Welcome Ed, good to get it out. My son returned from Iraq in latter '05 with severe PTSD . VA was of very little help. My wife and I have spent over $122,000 on his care. He is coming around and just got married which has helped him a lot. Good luck.
Click to expand...

Did he try the Vet Center?
 
Big Ed said:
I came home from Iraq in early 2005 with some pretty strong TBI symptoms, I went back to work and struggled to do what I used to be very good at. I was asking people I trained how to do stuff, they would remind me that "I" showed them that. I couldn't focus with distractions. I played the Radio all the time before deployment, and very rarely play it since. I made a lot of mistakes, and generally had a very hard time. In late 07 my VA counselor was going over my records with me, and told me I had been diagnosed with TBI in November 05. I went for the testing, but no one had gone over the results with me. So although I knew things were very wrong, I didn't know what was going on. When I got in to see a VA Psychiatrist, he put me on disability in November 09, I haven't worked since. My VA Disability rating is 90%, I also have Social Security Disability (for TBI and PTSD).

I've been in counseling at the Vet Center since 06, seeing a VA psychiatrist since 08, saw a VA Speech Pathologist from Aug 2012 thru March 2014 (she quit). I started seeing another VA Speech person about two months ago, she doesn't push at all compared to the other one though. I was in an OIF/OEF group for a few years, ending 2-3 years ago, they stopped the group. They started two more groups earlier this year, I went to one for the first time Friday.

Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed I can't think, or speak. I've had some people interpret this as me purposely ignoring them to be rude. I was taken aback by this the first time it happened. I've made efforts to help them understand what is really going on, including lengthy talks, info cards with symptom list, and sending them a video about TBI. Some of those people saw all those efforts as me making excuses, and treated me like I was being a jerk instead of like I had an injury. I am recently no longer in a 4wd club I've been in for nine years over this. Although there are good people in the club that are very understanding and easy to get along with, they are now in the minority. They weren't in the minority nine years ago, times change.

Danny described his wheeling as just him and his dogs, I used to be that way too, or maybe one or two good friends. I got in the club because I wanted to help on trails, and the club has an adopt a trail agreement with the Forest Service on six trails. After all the stress the club has put me through over the last few years it's a relief in a way to be out of it. I'm a glutton for punishment, and can't walk away like some people do.

I'd like this thread to be a place for people with TBI,
Click to expand...
 
First off. Thank you for your service, it's amazing how closed minded people can be .I would be willing to bet that most of the people that you were having trouble with have never served and therefore wouldn't really understand what you have been through. Hang in there keep up your counseling trust in God and don't waste your time on the haters.
Isaiah 41:10-11
 
Last edited:
The few people in the club that served were on my side. None of the people on the other side side served. The TBI video (above) I posted on the clubs website and sent to key members was civilians, three hurt in accidents, and one in a fight. It was the first video I found that I really liked, and I thought it would get across to civilians better because they would relate to it.
 
I went to a different group a couple nights ago, I wanted to hear what other combat veterans had to say about all this.
 
Last edited:
Ed,

After I returned from Viet Nam after three deployments, I was a little off myself and it took me about 10 years to adjust. I didn't have a TBI, wasn't diagnosed with PTSD (no one knew about it in 1970), didn't speak about what happened over there and in short just forgot I was a veteran. I am ashamed that I didn't claim to be one.

I hope you realize that you are in a very select and special group. Only about 7% of the population actually served or are currently serving so that puts you in that select and special group. I do know this, trying to describe military service and war to someone who has never experienced it is like trying to tell a vegan how a steak tastes. They simply can't realize what the experiences are or can be.

Before I purchased my second 40 and started rebuilding it, I was associated with a woodworking group, (I owned a woodworking shop) and they had an outreach program to teach rudimentary woodworking skills to Wounded Warrior Project participants. I was lucky enough to go on one before the budget cuts closed the woodworking shop in Fort Bragg, NC. No one spoke of injuries, no one asked about experiences, no one judged but we all pitched in and helped pull these fine people up a little. (After I left I will admit I did shed a few tears for those people, but don't tell anyone.) Reading about having a ride-along with a veteran hit a nerve with me and I am going to try and suggest it to the state group here in NC as a means to support Wounded Warriors.

Ed, hold your head high and know there are more who support you than those who don't. YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!!
 
Well said @David1947 !!!

Thank you for sharing this with Ed and the rest of us ... And I won't say a word about your eyes watering ;)

... And welcome to the Highway... And thank you for your service!!
 
pngunme, you are the reason I am here. I saw your signature in another thread and followed it here. Thanks for the direction and your service.
 
pngunme said:
Did you explain, to the group leader, that you need a moment to prepare your thoughts? If not, that's what I would suggest.
Click to expand...

I didn't get a chance to do that until the end of the group, at least that should set things up good for next time.
 
Not a lot of time to chat here as I am fighting a Wild Fire right now but I understand where you are coming from. I have both of what you you have myself and deal with stuff like you talk about too often myself. I have pulled myself from clubs myself as I do not feal like I really fit in with them. We are here for you Brother.
 
What fire are you fighting?
 
Last edited:
David1947 said:
I do know this, trying to describe military service and war to someone who has never experienced it is like trying to tell a vegan how a steak tastes. They simply can't realize what the experiences are or can be.
Click to expand...

First off I want to thank you for your service, and for participating here.

TBI isn't exclusively a military thing, it can be from a car wreck, football injury, workplace injury, etc. I wonder if my telling them it was something I came home from Iraq with tainted it for them, by that I mean they thought they couldn't understand. I thought the TBI video with civilians would cut through that.
 
The problems are rooted in my inability to respond sometimes, some take it personally, thinking I disrespected them. I've been told "just go apologize to them", and I said I don't have anything to apologize for. In the beginning I didn't know what they thought happened, I only knew what happened for me. As I started to hear their side, I started to educate them. Their reaction was that I was making excuses for my bad behavior. I was never able to get them through that, they wouldn't budge. One of their supporters told me to stop acting goofy, I asked him if he would tell a guy with cancer he couldn't have cancer. He repeated what I said like I was talking crazy. Then I asked him if he would tell a guy with a broken leg he couldn't have a broken leg, he repeated that the same way. I had one of my supporters in the club say they might as well be telling a blind man to throw away his dark glasses and cane, and walk out in the street.

After all that has happened I started thinking if I had gone along with their version, would all this not have happened? Since I can't get through to them, maybe I should just apologize for what they think happened, then they could move on. Of course since I can't "stop acting goofy", eventually it would be a problem anyway.
 
I think you're looking at this wrong, Ed...

The guys who showed compassion, had the capacity for it... I doubt everyone who showed compassion were vets. But, most probably were...

The adolescents either didn't have the capacity, were simply too self-centered or simply bowed to peer pressure. Bullies seem rise to the top in any sort of clique, group or gang mentality. A bully leader is generally the narcissistic type, they won't be willing to share their 'fun' time with anyone who makes them uncomfortable and could, potentially detract from their fun. They will loudly voice their disapproval and do everything they can to sway the others.

In your other thread, it became quite obvious who the bullies were... They simply 'can't abide'.

You will never sway that type of person... Unless it happens to them, they simply don't care...

From all I've read, you like volunteering and helping others, It's better to find a new niche that fits your interests, with people who enjoy helping others too.

This is just my opinion Ed... I have others :rolleyes:, but I hope this one helps.
 
I don't think I'm looking at it wrong, the bullies are the ones pushing the issue on behalf of the people I described in the situation above. There are people that are convinced I purposely disrespected them. Others hear about it, and take up the issue on their behalf without even talking to me.

My counselor said the club I loved no longer exists, it has changed. I need to find another place that is positive, and supports me. Don't try to change the people that are in the club now, it won't happen.

I like that advice.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)

Share this page

Back
Top Bottom