A note of sympathy for all the Democrat cruiserheads

[koop]

Originally Posted by LongIsland60

I saw that movie - was that the one with the hot lady who dressed all conservative, and when the dude was looking for a book, she took him into the back room... I didn't hear her say "sshhhh" though - I had it on fast forward...

YES, her for president

[Shahram]

Originally Posted by NorCalDoug

In the days before there was a Shahram, someone had to fill the roll
I now bow before Shahram...



I think I'll start a cult.

Okay, that doesn't sound too bad. To become a Shahruslim, you have to observe the Five Pillars of Shahrislam...

Faith or belief in the Oneness of God, or like, the Duplicity of God, or Gods, or, like, whatever, I'm still kinda working on that one;

Establishment of the daily prayers, or, like not so much prayers, but like givin' props to the Creator and pouring the first sip out for the homies that ain't here;

Concern for and almsgiving to the needy, so like throw some change to the dude that sits in front of the pharmacy once in a while, and it wouldn't hurt to throw an extra buck or two in the lady's g-string when you're at the strip club;

Observation of Shahramadan, which is kinda like fasting, only instead of not eating, you just eat. You can fast in between snacks and meals if you like, but not too much. When the sun goes down, much beer and pork products and pork biproducts and hot sauce must be imbibed to the point of abdominal distention and grunting in tongues. Only the smallest children and the oldest and most infirmed may not observe Shahramadan, which is cool 'cause like, more booze and rinds for the rest of us.....ah yeah.

The pilgrimage to Moab/Pink's Hot Dogs/Baja California/Rubicon/Sam's Hof Brau for those who are able;


Sound good? Hey, it sure beats martyrdom! Woo-ha!

[fsusteve]

Line forms here....

[IDave]

I'm in.

Especially on the fasting and the duplicity of God/god/godess.

[Jman]

Who knew? I'm already there. . . .

[Cruisin'Carolina]

Wow!!!

Who knew we would be forming our own country AND a new religion?

Do we have to keep them separate???

[PHBeerman]

Originally Posted by Shahram

Okay, that doesn't sound too bad. To become a Shahruslim, you have to observe the Five Pillars of Shahrislam...

Faith or belief in the Oneness of God, or like, the Duplicity of God, or Gods, or, like, whatever, I'm still kinda working on that one;

Establishment of the daily prayers, or, like not so much prayers, but like givin' props to the Creator by drinking pouring the first sip out for the homies that ain't here;

Concern for and almsgiving to the needy, so like throw some change to the dude that sits in front of the pharmacy once in a while, and it wouldn't hurt to throw an extra buck or two in the lady's g-string when you're at the strip club;

Observation of Shahramadan, which is kinda like fasting, only instead of not eating, you just eat. You can fast in between snacks and meals if you like, but not too much. When the sun goes down, much beer and pork products and pork biproducts and hot sauce must be imbibed to the point of abdominal distention and grunting in tongues. Only the smallest children and the oldest and most infirmed may not observe Shahramadan, which is cool 'cause like, more booze and rinds for the rest of us.....ah yeah.

The pilgrimage to Moab/Pink's Hot Dogs/Baja California/Rubicon/Sam's Hof Brau for those who are able;


Sound good? Hey, it sure beats martyrdom! Woo-ha!

Sounds good to me. What is the church's stance on internet porn?

[Gumby]

I've been practicing Sharamadan all my life. Who knew?

I thought I was an athiest. Turns out I'm a Sharamuslim.

I feel all tingly.


Can I be all self-rightous now that I have religion?

[Shahram]

Originally Posted by PHBeerman

Sounds good to me. What is the church's stance on internet porn?

Since the Shahramosque has declared fatwa on sperm cells (because retention of sperm results in road rage, Metallica, and unreasonable suspension lifts), any and all sources of reading material and motion picture media that help in the anti-sperm Jihad are considered halal, which is like sand negro kosher.


"Show 'em the book, Hassan....see that?
6-4-6! Right there, in black and white.
6-4-6! Spank away. God is Great y'all."

[surfpig]

Sam's Hof-brau is gone...

But I'm in.

[swank60]

Originally Posted by Shahram

Okay, that doesn't sound too bad. To become a Shahruslim, you have to observe the Five Pillars of Shahrislam...

Faith or belief in the Oneness of God, or like, the Duplicity of God, or Gods, or, like, whatever, I'm still kinda working on that one;

Establishment of the daily prayers, or, like not so much prayers, but like givin' props to the Creator and pouring the first sip out for the homies that ain't here;

Concern for and almsgiving to the needy, so like throw some change to the dude that sits in front of the pharmacy once in a while, and it wouldn't hurt to throw an extra buck or two in the lady's g-string when you're at the strip club;

Observation of Shahramadan, which is kinda like fasting, only instead of not eating, you just eat. You can fast in between snacks and meals if you like, but not too much. When the sun goes down, much beer and pork products and pork biproducts and hot sauce must be imbibed to the point of abdominal distention and grunting in tongues. Only the smallest children and the oldest and most infirmed may not observe Shahramadan, which is cool 'cause like, more booze and rinds for the rest of us.....ah yeah.

The pilgrimage to Moab/Pink's Hot Dogs/Baja California/Rubicon/Sam's Hof Brau for those who are able;


Sound good? Hey, it sure beats martyrdom! Woo-ha!

But what do we do about stupid people…or zealot fundamentalists? (and just to make myself clear, I don't want them to die or anything, I just want them to get diarrea for days on end - kinda put them off their game for a while, you know?) - I'm really not ready for straight up pitty/turning the other cheek, and I'm not advocating violence, but I feel like the issue needs to be addressed.

I don't mean to be a party pooper or anything, but if I'm joining a cult, I want to make sure the leader has ALL of the answers.

[Shahram]

Originally Posted by surfpig

Sam's Hof-brau is gone...

But I'm in.

Uh.......no it's not. I was just there. Still going strong.

[NorCalDoug]

Originally Posted by surfpig

Sam's Hof-brau is gone...

But I'm in.

You're thinking local. You gotta think global.

COME ON MAN! GET WITH THE PROGRAM!

[NorCalDoug]

Originally Posted by swank60

But what do we do about stupid people…or zealot fundamentalists? (and just to make myself clear, I don't want them to die or anything, I just want them to get diarrea for days on end - kinda put them off their game for a while, you know?) - I'm really not ready for straight up pitty/turning the other cheek, and I'm not advocating violence, but I feel like the issue needs to be addressed.

I don't mean to be a party pooper or anything, but if I'm joining a cult, I want to make sure the leader has ALL of the answers.

West Dakota.

I'm still planning on fencing it in. All the stupid people could be sent there.
How's that work? Zealot fundamentalists too.

[surfpig]

Originally Posted by Shahram

Uh.......no it's not. I was just there. Still going strong.

On Watt Avenue? Sorry, forgot about that one. There were a couple. That one's still there.

GLOBAL, GLOBAL, GLOBAL!

Still partial to Cargo Cult, 'cuz you get stuff, and I like stuff. But hey, I'm open.

What's the chick ratio?

[NorCalDoug]

Originally Posted by surfpig

On Watt Avenue? Sorry, forgot about that one. There were a couple. That one's still there.

GLOBAL, GLOBAL, GLOBAL!

Still partial to Cargo Cult, 'cuz you get stuff, and I like stuff. But hey, I'm open.

What's the chick ratio?

No, no...more global than that. Outside Sacramento...head south...to the one in L.A.

To this Sam's Hof Brau (possible 35%)

No...not all Sam's Hof Braus are the same...
I think that's a good thing...






cargo cult...that's funnay

[LoveTractor]

Recent e-mail I got:

Bush State of the Union Drinking Game
Down a glass of your favorite adult beverage any time you hear the president say:

# “Strategy for victory.” (Bottoms Up Bonus: “clear strategy for victory.”)
# Something about our troops being the “finest in the world”.
# “No artificial timetable”.
# "Stay the coure"
# That we’re training “more and more Iraqi security forces every day.”
# “Freedom.” (Bottoms Up Bonus: “They hate freedom.”)
# War being “tough.”
# The conflation of Afghanistan and Iraq - the war in Iraq with the war on terror (Bottoms Up Bonus: “shared murderous ideology”)
# That the terrorists are trying to “shake our will.”
# That we have to “complete our mission.”
# chug-a-lug anytime the president mentions "Saddamists," "rejectionists", "insurgents" or "terrorists" (down a triple shot if he mentions three out of four in one sentence)
# every time he defends warrantless NSA wiretaps as "necessary for our national security."
# "hard work"
# "9-11" ...bonus triple shot for 9-11 and Iraq in same sentence!

The odds are very high that you’ll be three-sheets-to-the-wind long before the speech is done. But you won’t know one damn thing more about how we’re going to get out of this mess.


I hope this wasn't posted already, but I didn't read all the preceding jibberish.

On a more serious note, I will say that I still believe that Bush is only breeding more terrorists with his naive(maybe greedy) actions. Not much couth there.

[swank60]

Originally Posted by surfpig

On Watt Avenue? Sorry, forgot about that one. There were a couple. That one's still there.

GLOBAL, GLOBAL, GLOBAL!

Still partial to Cargo Cult, 'cuz you get stuff, and I like stuff. But hey, I'm open.

What's the chick ratio?

Holly crap, you've totally busted the irreverence curve with your cargo cult ref.

What am I to do now? I can either step back or step up!

[surfpig]

Originally Posted by NorCalDoug

No, no...more global than that. Outside Sacramento...head south...to the one in L.A.

To this Sam's Hof Brau (possible 35%)

No...not all Sam's Hof Braus are the same...
I think that's a good thing...






cargo cult...that's funnay

I had no idea...

What was this thread about, anyway?

[Shahram]

Originally Posted by surfpig

Still partial to Cargo Cult, 'cuz you get stuff, and I like stuff. But hey, I'm open.

Shit, that really is funny. Do you think people who belong to Cargo Cults call themselves Cargo Cult members?


INT. - BAR/GRILL - NIGHT

Helen: I've always thought of myself as spiritual, not religious.....are you religious?
Bob: You bet I am.
Helen: Christian?
Bob: Nope.
Helen: Oh God, you're not Jewish. Fuck. I always end up with the closet Jew...
Bob: I'm not Jewish. It's kind of hard to explain.....I'm in......a Cargo Cult.
Helen: But, you don't even look Melanesian!
Bob: I converted.


INT. - OFFICE - DAY

[Office is quiet, New Guy is in training, accompanied by Jim from the mailroom. Suddenly, Bob bursts through the door, screaming and throwing pieces of paper. No one else seems to notice, but New Guy is startled.]
Bob: HERE IT COMES! BOW DOWN! BOW DOWN EVERYONE! DO NOT LOOK IT IN THE EYE! YOURE REVERENCE WILL SAVE YOU! BOW DOWN EVERYONE!
New Guy: Holy shit! What's going on?! What's happening?!?!
Jim: Relax, dude, that's just Bob from Outside Sales. He always does that when the FedEx guy shows up.

[Relix]

Originally Posted by IDave

Amazing what power over you that you have given to someone you've never met. I think that statement should be forwarded to your commanding officer so that they'll know who they have working for them.

Jesus dude, if you did that I'm sure his commanding officer would recomend him for a promotion... I've never met anyone in the millitary that thinks that crazy bitch is ok, everyone I've ever talked to in the Millitary thinks she's a bitch

[IDave]

I'm with the others who don't like her, but threatening assassination (in writing) of a political figure in this day and age, even in an immature rant, is not clever, at best, and maybe demonstrates an unstable, unpredictable character.

Why get so angry at someone you don't know? Lemme tell you something. Maybe for you young fellas the world is all black and white, and people are either completely good or completely evil. But get to know someone, and you will find that it is virtually NEVER the case. People are all sorts of things at all sorts of times, and there's who they are at home, who they are in public, who they are on TV, who they are when they're with their mother, who they are when they're with they're kid, and so forth. It's a big gray area when it comes to defining a person. So getting so worked up over someone you don't know that you hate them to the point of killing them, well, that's the sort of crazy thing assassins (like the guy who shot Reagan) do. It is stupid, and virtually never deserved.

It demeans you as a person to get so angry. Let it go.

As Steve/Poser says, "lose the hate, man."

Disagree with someone's decisions or political stance, but remember that people are not just what they are portrayed in the media, and most deserve at least some respect, just like you do.

[surfpig]

Originally Posted by Shahram

Shit, that really is funny. Do you think people who belong to Cargo Cults call themselves Cargo Cult members?


INT. - BAR/GRILL - NIGHT

Helen: I've always thought of myself as spiritual, not religious.....are you religious?
Bob: You bet I am.
Helen: Christian?
Bob: Nope.
Helen: Oh God, you're not Jewish. Fuck. I always end up with the closet Jew...
Bob: I'm not Jewish. It's kind of hard to explain.....I'm in......a Cargo Cult.
Helen: But, you don't even look Melanesian!
Bob: I converted.



INT. - OFFICE - DAY

[Office is quiet, New Guy is in training, accompanied by Jim from the mailroom. Suddenly, Bob bursts through the door, screaming and throwing pieces of paper. No one else seems to notice, but New Guy is startled.]
Bob: HERE IT COMES! BOW DOWN! BOW DOWN EVERYONE! DO NOT LOOK IT IN THE EYE! YOURE REVERENCE WILL SAVE YOU! BOW DOWN EVERYONE!
New Guy: Holy shit! What's going on?! What's happening?!?!
Jim: Relax, dude, that's just Bob from Outside Sales. He always does that when the FedEx guy shows up.

Absolutely priceless!

Thanks for that.