The ultimate thread! (possible 35%) (#1)

NorCalDoug · 01-02-06, 01:39 PM

Giant steps are what you take
Walking on the moon
I hope my legs don't break
Walking on the moon
We could walk forever
Walking on the moon
We could live together
Walking on, walking on the moon

Walking back from your house
Walking on the moon
Walking back from your house
Walking on the moon
Feet they hardly touch the ground
Walking on the moon
My feet don't hardly make no sound
Walking on, walking on the moon

Some may say
I'm wishing my days away
No way
And if it's the price I pay
Some say
Tomorrow's another day
You stay
I may as well play

Giant steps are what you take
Walking on the moon
I hope my legs don't break
Walking on the moon
We could walk forever
Walking on the moon
We could be together
Walking on, walking on the moon

Some may say
I'm wishing my days away
No way
And if it's the price I pay
Some say
Tomorrow's another day
You stay
I may as well play

Keep it up, keep it up

NorCalDoug · 01-02-06, 01:41 PM

Hey!

You left your lights on!

NorCalDoug · 01-02-06, 01:42 PM

green cheese?

NorCalDoug · 01-02-06, 01:43 PM

here's looking at you kid...

surfpig · 01-02-06, 01:52 PM

Cosmic, dude!

NorCalDoug · 01-02-06, 02:13 PM

Advice...

Don't build space rockets out of ply wood.
Don't eat bog roll.
Don't whistle with your mouth full.
Don't drive over your grandmother.
Don't build your house out of play doh.
Don't try to eat yoghurt in the wind.
Don't eat goat sandwiches.
Don't lick light bulbs if they have been on for a while.
Don't chop your hand off. That would just be stupid.
Don't watch songs of praise if you are a satanist.
Don't go roller blading if you've got no feet.
Dont go time travelling if you only have enough flux capacitor for one trip.
Don't dip your feet in nitric acid.
Don't go swimming in the sewer.
Don't feed your goldfish to your mom.
Don't stick custard cream crumbs down your ears.
Don't wear your socks over your shoes.
Don't flush your favourite watch down the toilet.
Don't flash your grandmother.
Don't go ice skating with seabass.
Don't strut your funky stuff at the bank.
Don't listen to the Archers. It's crap.
Don't try to raise the dead.
Don't invite maggots round to tea.
Don't mix turps in with your milk.
Don't ask your mother-in-law out on a date.
Don't call your Mom a Donkey-Dick-Licker infront of your grandmother.
Don't lick dog poo unless you are a dog.
Don't sit on spiky things.
Always eat plenty of food every day. Not cabbage.
Don't sell your friends to the slave trade.
Don't stick your head into a sausage making machine.
Don't break off the handle.
Don't jump up and down a million times after eating 16 bowls of jelly.
Don't try to swallow golf balls.
Don't wear Burberry. It will make you look like a tasteless fool.
Don't go to war on an empty stomach.
Don't go missing during the rainy season.
Don't carry full cans of deodorant by only the lid when you have nothing on your feet.
Don't eat sand.
Don't tell your secrets to gossipy old women.
Don't disturb a sleeping gorilla. It will probably go ape.
Don't mistake dynamite for sherbert.
Don't scratch your eyeballs with sharp pointy things.
Don't sunbathe under huge flocks of seagulls.
Don't pick your nose at job interviews.
Don't bet all your money on a horse with no legs.
Don't meditate whilst operating heavy machinery.
Don't drive off the edge of cliffs.
Don't go to the cinema if you don't like films.
Don't steal from tramps. Whatever you may gain will only smell like piss.
Don't sniff strangers arm pits.
Don't try to swallow corn on the cob whole.
Don't eat Youngs Fish Pie. It makes your belly go wrong.
Never eat shreadded wheat.
Don't lick batteries.
Don't hang out with really stupid people.
Don't wolf-whistle fat hairy builders.
Don't chew tin foil if you have got fillings.
Don't sell weapons of mass destruction to right evil bastards.
Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Use your arms and legs as well.
Don't dress up like Phat Max. It's not cool.
Don't talk to random old men in the street. You may never get away.
Don't pester the librarian.
Don't collect dead worms.
Don't sniff dogs bottoms in the park.
Don't step off the speeding train.
Don't make sandwiches out of moudly bread.
Don't drive round the roundabout backwards.
Don't burgal your own home.
Don't hop on one leg all day because it will ultimately end in a sore leg.
Don't call strangers Big Rufus as it may offend.
Blow your nose instead of sniffing as you will only get a mouth full of phlegm.
Never scratch your eyeballs with sharp pointy finger nails.
Always keep your freezer plugged in otherwise the fish fingers will go soggy.
Wearing your shoes on the correct feet is much more comfortable.
Eat cheese. It's nice.
Always head for the eye of the storm.
Don't eat tuna sandwiches before a first date.
Don't go to the supermarket naked.
Breathe at regular intervals. It keeps you alive.
Never invite rapists round for dinner as you run the risk of getting raped.
Buy Shannon presents. She likes presents and will be your friend forever.
Don't sing 'Ding-Dong The Witch Is Dead' at your grandmother's funeral.
Buy potatoes in bulk. They are an excellent source of food and the investment will pay off.
Always maintain a ready supply of toilet paper in your bathroom.
Don't work at Wal-Mart. It is boring.
Your nose does not contain adequate storage for super noodles so don't even try.
Never pick fights with really big people.
Don't constantly spin around. Not only will you get dizzy, you will also look very silly.
Don't worry if you stand on the cracks. It wont break your mothers back.
Don't become a meter maid. You will only lose friends.
Never go to the gym. Its full of weirdos.
Don't take baths in boiling chip fat.
Don't eat cacti for breakfast, dinner or tea.
Don't go swimming in sewage plants.
Don't bother talking to plants. They don't understand English.
Don't have cats. They are horrible.
Don't go swimming in the sea. It's full of shit.
Don't eat your toe nail clippings. It's neither tasty nor nutritious.
Don't hold your breath for more than five minutes otherwise you will die.
Don't run naked through stinging nettles.
Never piss off a lion.
Don't rub your knuckles on a cheese grater. It hurts.
Wear gloves when visiting the Arctic.
Don't drink liquid nitrogen. It will make you a little bit cold.
Never swim with electric eels.
Don't sleep in wet cement. You might get stuck.
Don't go jogging. It will only make you look stupid.
Don't have sex with your neighbours cat. It will ruin your friendship with both the neighbour and the cat.
Never eat liver. It is gross.
Don't cross busy roads with only your sense of smell to guide you.
Don't kick old people in public. Wait 'til you get them home.
Don't try to clean your oven with mashed potato. It doesn't work.
Don't assassinate your friends.
Don't try to crossbreed squirrels with sheep.
Don't piss outside in sub-zero temperatures.
Don't put turps in your eyes. It hurts.
Don't smear your face in raspberry jam before collecting honey from bees.
Prepare for the cold winter months by storing plenty of nuts to see you through.
Don't piss me off.
Don't ask a coma patient out to the theatre.
Don't drink the strawberry milkshake from the corner shop. It's tasting crap today.
Don't try to eat soup with a fork.
Always remove your hands from the drawer before closing it.
Don't jump off tall buildings without a parachute.
Don't stick lollypop sticks really far down your ears.
Don't attempt to cut your finger nails with hedge trimmers.
Don't go for picnics on the freeway.
Don't hug dirty old men.
Don't be a stunt man if you suffer from osteoporosis.