What do you do with a abusive stepson - Page 2

SunTzuMD · 06-29-08, 02:48 PM

I agree - kick him to the curb. Tell him he is welcome home when he straightens himself out.

johnny4ever · 06-29-08, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calstyl2

Chris, sorry budd, we have done this issue once before and things have not changed as you know.........Its time for him to do it on his own, send him packing, the 15 year old is watching and learning how this rolls.

This is pretty good advice. Just be careful how you evict and control his access to your home.

If he threatens anyone physically just call the police and have his ass carted away. If it's your house he is living in, then look through his shit for signs of alcohol, drugs, etc. Especially if you find drugs just turn the asshole in.

RockDoc · 06-29-08, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunTzuMD

I agree - kick him to the curb. Tell him he is welcome home when he straightens himself out.

I like that too. Let life straighten him out if you don't think he'll listen to you.

roscoFJ73 · 06-29-08, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IronYuppy

Cartoonland will fix him up good:

Shouldnt we let Dr Phil have a look 1st?

IronYuppy · 06-29-08, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roscoFJ73

Shouldnt we let Dr Phil have a look 1st?

Unless Dr. Phil is a 70' tall carnivorous monster in a lake of fire, I don't really see how he can compare.

cruiser88 · 06-29-08, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calstyl2

Chris, sorry budd, we have done this issue once before and things have not changed as you know.........Its time for him to do it on his own, send him packing, the 15 year old is watching and learning how this rolls.

Ya I know....he came back and said he is trying to get a apartment with his friend close to work....they are waiting on a phone call.

calstyl2 · 06-29-08, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cruiser88

Ya I know....he came back and said he is trying to get a apartment with his friend close to work.

You have the abilty to make the trying change to getting................I'd would of had this settled real quick.....without the car you got him

cruiser88 · 06-29-08, 03:57 PM

In wv you cannot evict on a moments notice. You have to evict them in writing which they have 30 days then if they still do not leave the sheriff gives them so many days.

calstyl2 · 06-29-08, 03:59 PM

Kill the internet he uses for gamming, kill the cable/Sat for TV, own the TV? send it out for a tune up........

Yes, I am a dick, made a Coworker cry today for being a idiot.

cruiser88 · 06-29-08, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calstyl2

You have the abilty to make the trying change to getting................I'd would of had this settled real quick.....without the car you got him

Car is his now. That was why we was looking for another dd

however he still does not have his drivers L...only the permit. sad part he drives real well just refuses must of the time

cruiser88 · 06-29-08, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calstyl2

Kill the internet he uses for gamming, kill the cable/Sat for TV, own the TV? send it out for a tune up........

Yes, I am a dick, made a Coworker cry today for being a idiot.

calstyl2 · 06-29-08, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cruiser88

Car is his now. That was why we was looking for another dd

however he still does not have his drivers L...only the permit. sad part he drives real well just refuses must of the time

And you know your open for that liability? Sounds like a stint with the USMC would be in order?

cruiser88 · 06-29-08, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calstyl2

And you know your open for that liability? Sounds like a stint with the USMC would be in order?

When he is gone insurance will be gone off the car

calstyl2 · 06-29-08, 04:06 PM

Your paying insurance on a unlicenced driver? dude....that make you liable for that person and vehicles actions.......fawk him, cut him off the insurance before he road rages some toothless coalminer and his daughter....

cruiser88 · 06-29-08, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calstyl2

Your paying insurance on a unlicenced driver? dude....that make you liable for that person and vehicles actions.......fawk him, cut him off the insurance before he road rages some toothless coalminer and his daughter....

no he has a permit ...he can drive on a permit. He is on our insurance...when he leaves he will no longer be on our insurance therefore we are not liable

calstyl2 · 06-29-08, 04:12 PM

Ok, here in the PRK, a permit is only valid if you have another driver with you, till your 18......unless its family you cannot have passengers either.

cruiser88 · 06-29-08, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calstyl2

Ok, here in the PRK, a permit is only valid if you have another driver with you, till your 18......unless its family you cannot have passengers either.

10-4

swank60 · 06-29-08, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cuerno Largo

Is his mother on your side? If so, sit him down. Preferably with mother present as well and with her knowing what the meeting discussion will be. Have a plan of action with her so he can't split you and her.

Explain the rules and how you want them to be followed. Get him to agree to the rules 100% with explicit explanation of what happens if he breaks the rules. It would be best to have him sign an agreement. That alone is a good lesson for him when he has to sign shit in the future. If he does not agree then tell him to GTFO.

If he agrees to the rules, then make sure he follows them to the letter. The first one he breaks, apply the previously agreed upon punishment.

Do not waver from the previously agreed upon punishment.

BTW, did I mention make sure his mother is on your side? If she is not, then you are screwed and may as well take liberal amounts of the above mentioned drinik.

x270

the key to your whole post is the word(s) "step-son" - you've got a whole different dynamic going on and realistically, you're going to have to get mom very, very involved in the process. In fact, I'd have her do all of the talking while you're in the background playing a supporting roll.

It's a whole lot easier to kick them to the curb, threaten the hell out of them or whatever when they are your own - this one is not. I'm not sure how long he's been under your roof (not that it really makes a difference - if bio-dad is in the picture at all, and he's not on your side, then there's a huge chasm there that basically allows this kid in his own mind/world to say "yeah, fuck you buddy, you're not my dad." That's the hard truth of it.

I've heard someone else say this before, and I don't remember who it was, but there are very few jobs in life that are less thankless than being a step-parent.

Good luck.

Mr. Toad · 06-29-08, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cruiser88

In wv you cannot evict on a moments notice. You have to evict them in writing which they have 30 days then if they still do not leave the sheriff gives them so many days.

I seriously doubt this applies outside of a landlord-tenant relationship.

brett76 · 06-29-08, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Toad

I seriously doubt this applies outside of a landlord-tenant relationship.

i have always understood it to apply to anyone who has been sleeping at your residence more than 3 days

Mr. Toad · 06-29-08, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brett76

i have always understood it to apply to anyone who has been sleeping at your residence more than 3 days

That's f'd up. Must be some crazy Kalifornia thing.

Eviction should only apply to deprive someone of control over a premises. If you have control of the property -- by being a tenant under a lease agreement -- then you have eviction rights. But if you're just crashing, you're out of luck.

cruiser88 · 06-29-08, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swank60

x270

the key to your whole post is the word(s) "step-son" - you've got a whole different dynamic going on and realistically, you're going to have to get mom very, very involved in the process. In fact, I'd have her do all of the talking while you're in the background playing a supporting roll.

It's a whole lot easier to kick them to the curb, threaten the hell out of them or whatever when they are your own - this one is not. I'm not sure how long he's been under your roof (not that it really makes a difference - if bio-dad is in the picture at all, and he's not on your side, then there's a huge chasm there that basically allows this kid in his own mind/world to say "yeah, fuck you buddy, you're not my dad." That's the hard truth of it.

I've heard someone else say this before, and I don't remember who it was, but there are very few jobs in life that are less thankless than being a step-parent.

Good luck.

Yep that is the role I am trying to play. Actually if it was not for me his mom was going to kick him out months ago but I or WE spoke and he agreed to stop the violence. This morning he decided for no apparent reason to push his brother into the door frame then into another door simply cause he was in his way.This 19 year old is 6/2 300 pounds.

We shall see what happens with this new apartment he says he is taking.

cruiser88 · 06-29-08, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Toad

That's f'd up. Must be some crazy Kalifornia thing.

Eviction should only apply to deprive someone of control over a premises. If you have control of the property -- by being a tenant under a lease agreement -- then you have eviction rights. But if you're just crashing, you're out of luck.

I advised the 15 year old that he can call the police and in turn he would not have a residence here cause he would be in Northern regional Jail.

Harsh I know but that is his right.

IronYuppy · 06-29-08, 06:46 PM

Just a thought, and stop me if this is too extreme, but have you considered burning the house down with everyone inside, and just running down the clock in a Mexican villa overlooking the ocean?

raydouble · 06-29-08, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IronYuppy

Just a thought, and stop me if this is too extreme, but have you considered burning the house down with everyone inside, and just running down the clock in a Mexican villa overlooking the ocean?

whoa whoa whoa..... slow down.....

He would be much happier in the Caribbean....

06-29-08, 02:48 PM	#31
SunTzuMD IH8MUD Regular Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 251	I agree - kick him to the curb. Tell him he is welcome home when he straightens himself out. __________________ 1994 JDM Surf RHD 1995 FZJ80 - Factory Lockers, CDL switch and ARB bumper 2002 Tacoma Double Cab 4x4 TRD - National Springs Add-a-Leaf 1990 4x4 Short Bed Pickup - Farm Duty in the Ozarks Location - Okinawa, Japan

06-29-08, 03:57 PM	#38
cruiser88 IH8MUD Lifer Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: over here TLCA# 17319 Posts: 7,160	In wv you cannot evict on a moments notice. You have to evict them in writing which they have 30 days then if they still do not leave the sheriff gives them so many days. __________________ BLAH BLAH

06-29-08, 03:59 PM	#39
calstyl2 Deezz nutzz Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Cherry Valley CA TLCA# 14149 Posts: 1,103 Blog Entries: 3	Kill the internet he uses for gamming, kill the cable/Sat for TV, own the TV? send it out for a tune up........ Yes, I am a dick, made a Coworker cry today for being a idiot. __________________ No cruisers, Im here for the Chicks and Beer McColgan for Prez Originally Posted by pagemaster It shows how weak and underbuilt the 100 series is.

06-29-08, 04:06 PM	#44
calstyl2 Deezz nutzz Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Cherry Valley CA TLCA# 14149 Posts: 1,103 Blog Entries: 3	Your paying insurance on a unlicenced driver? dude....that make you liable for that person and vehicles actions.......fawk him, cut him off the insurance before he road rages some toothless coalminer and his daughter.... __________________ No cruisers, Im here for the Chicks and Beer McColgan for Prez Originally Posted by pagemaster It shows how weak and underbuilt the 100 series is.

06-29-08, 04:12 PM	#46
calstyl2 Deezz nutzz Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Cherry Valley CA TLCA# 14149 Posts: 1,103 Blog Entries: 3	Ok, here in the PRK, a permit is only valid if you have another driver with you, till your 18......unless its family you cannot have passengers either. __________________ No cruisers, Im here for the Chicks and Beer McColgan for Prez Originally Posted by pagemaster It shows how weak and underbuilt the 100 series is.

06-29-08, 06:46 PM	#54
IronYuppy You've always got time... Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Brentwood Bay, BC TLCA# 17705 Posts: 1,449	Just a thought, and stop me if this is too extreme, but have you considered burning the house down with everyone inside, and just running down the clock in a Mexican villa overlooking the ocean? __________________ '94 lockered FZJ80 Don't believe the disinformation; D'animal IS actually Dan from American Toyota. PM him with all your parts and tech questions. I don't even know where I am right now, Your Honor.