Funny Cat Picture Thread (35% for cats?)

[ManBearPig]

[ManBearPig]

[Relix]

[steverb]

[Box Rocket]

redo of earlier one.....

[Spud]

Man, just catching up.

DO NOT EAT YOGURT WHILE READING THESES...

Had to look away as I am laughing out loud.

[stinkyfj60]

bump

[steverb]

[stinkyfj60]

...

[steverb]

[stinkyfj60]

[steverb]

[steverb]

[stinkyfj60]

bump.

[monniepoo]

I can't remember if this was posted already... but its cute!

[stinkyfj60]

[SLOonTheGo]

I nearly cry every time I see this. Poor thing, I almost feel bad for laughing so much.

Originally Posted by steverb

[Spook50]

Originally Posted by SLOonTheGo

I nearly cry every time I see this. Poor thing, I almost feel bad for laughing so much.

I thought it really was hurl until I noticed the smeared plate of cat food right there...

[SLOonTheGo]

Pretty funny if I must say so.

[bogof]

Those Maxell Tapes R uhmazin!

[D'Animal]

bump !

[WristPin]

request for pic

pic: flattened kitty.
caption: i made too many dumb cat jokes

[steverb]

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow—but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

[IronYuppy]

"Mars Probe Finds Kittens", by Steve Martin


The New York Times
July 10, 1997

The newly arrived probe to Mars has returned irrefutable evidence that the red planet is populated with approximately 27 million 3-month-old kittens.

These "kittens" do not give birth and do not die, but are locked in a state of eternal kittenhood. Of course, without further investigation, scientists are reluctant to call the chirpy little creatures kittens.

"Just because they look like kittens and act like kittens is no reason to assume they are kittens," said one researcher. "A football is a brown thing that bounces around on grass, but it would be wrong to call it a puppy."

Scientists at first were skeptical that a kitten-type being could exist in the rare Martian atmosphere. As a test, two Earth kittens were put in a chamber that simulated the Martian air. The diary of this experiment is fascinating:

6:00 A.M.: Kittens appear to sleep.

7:02 A.M.: Kitten wakes, darts from one end of cage to another for no apparent reason.

7:14 A.M.: Kitten runs up wall of cage, leaps onto other kitten for no apparent reason.

7:22 A.M.: Kitten lies on back and punches other kitten for no apparent reason.

7:30 A.M.: Kitten leaps, stops, darts left, abruptly stops, climbs wall, clings for two seconds, falls on head, darts right for no apparent reason.

7:51 A.M.: Kitten parses first sentence of daily newspaper that is at bottom of chamber.

With the exception of the parsing, all behavior is typical of Earth kitten behavior. The parsing activity, which was done with a small ball-point pen, was an anomaly.

Modern kitten theory suggests several explanations for the kittens' existence on Mars. The first, put forward by Dr. Patricia Krieger of the Hey You Bub Institute, suggests that kittens occur both everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. In other words, we see evidence that kittens exist, but when you try to measure them, they are gone, usually at the top of drapes. Another theory, put forward by Dr. Charles Wesler and his Uncle Ted, suggests that any universe where round things exist, from theoretical spheres to Ping-Pong balls, necessarily implies the existence of a Mover/Kitten. The scientific world has responded by saying that the notion of the Mover/Kitten is not a concern of legitimate research and should be relegated to the pseudo-scientific world. The pseudo-scientific world has responded by saying that it needs at least three endorsements from independent crackpots before anything can truly be called "pseudo."

Some have suggested that the hostility of the Martian climate should be enough to seriously set back the long-term prospects of any species. However, the weakness of Martian gravity is a bonus for felines. They are able to leap almost three times as high as they can on Earth. They can climb twice as far up a carpet-covered post, and a ball with a bell in it will roll almost three times as far. This is at least equal to the distance that a mature poodle can roll a ball with its nose.

Even though there could be a big market on Earth for eternal kittens, most scientists agree that the human race should not pursue further involvement with the kittens. There are those, however, who believe that, having discovered the creatures, it is now our responsibility to "amuse" them.

Dr. Enos Mowbrey and his wife/cousin, Jane, both researchers at the Chicago Junebug Institute for Animal Studies, argue that the kittens could be properly amused by four miles of ball string cut into 14-inch segments. The cost of such a venture would be:

Four miles of string: 135 dollars.

Segmentation of string: 8 dollars.

Manned Mars probe to deliver string and jiggle it: 6 trillion dollars.

Currently, the only scheme for raising this money is a proposal to change Rhode Island into a casino.

Kitten theory, along with modern string theory, are embryonic notions at best. There is still much to be pursued, including exploration for similar life on other planets. When asked what other heavenly bodies might be conducive to kittens or, say, farm life such as baby chicks, Dr. Joseph "Old" MacDonald enthused, "Io, Io, oh!"

[Skillet]

Originally Posted by IronYuppy

"Mars Probe Finds Kittens", by Steve Martin


The New York Times
July 10, 1997

The newly arrived probe to Mars has returned irrefutable evidence that the red planet is populated with approximately 27 million 3-month-old kittens.

These "kittens" do not give birth and do not die, but are locked in a state of eternal kittenhood. Of course, without further investigation, scientists are reluctant to call the chirpy little creatures kittens.

"Just because they look like kittens and act like kittens is no reason to assume they are kittens," said one researcher. "A football is a brown thing that bounces around on grass, but it would be wrong to call it a puppy."

Scientists at first were skeptical that a kitten-type being could exist in the rare Martian atmosphere. As a test, two Earth kittens were put in a chamber that simulated the Martian air. The diary of this experiment is fascinating:

6:00 A.M.: Kittens appear to sleep.

7:02 A.M.: Kitten wakes, darts from one end of cage to another for no apparent reason.

7:14 A.M.: Kitten runs up wall of cage, leaps onto other kitten for no apparent reason.

7:22 A.M.: Kitten lies on back and punches other kitten for no apparent reason.

7:30 A.M.: Kitten leaps, stops, darts left, abruptly stops, climbs wall, clings for two seconds, falls on head, darts right for no apparent reason.

7:51 A.M.: Kitten parses first sentence of daily newspaper that is at bottom of chamber.

With the exception of the parsing, all behavior is typical of Earth kitten behavior. The parsing activity, which was done with a small ball-point pen, was an anomaly.

Modern kitten theory suggests several explanations for the kittens' existence on Mars. The first, put forward by Dr. Patricia Krieger of the Hey You Bub Institute, suggests that kittens occur both everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. In other words, we see evidence that kittens exist, but when you try to measure them, they are gone, usually at the top of drapes. Another theory, put forward by Dr. Charles Wesler and his Uncle Ted, suggests that any universe where round things exist, from theoretical spheres to Ping-Pong balls, necessarily implies the existence of a Mover/Kitten. The scientific world has responded by saying that the notion of the Mover/Kitten is not a concern of legitimate research and should be relegated to the pseudo-scientific world. The pseudo-scientific world has responded by saying that it needs at least three endorsements from independent crackpots before anything can truly be called "pseudo."

Some have suggested that the hostility of the Martian climate should be enough to seriously set back the long-term prospects of any species. However, the weakness of Martian gravity is a bonus for felines. They are able to leap almost three times as high as they can on Earth. They can climb twice as far up a carpet-covered post, and a ball with a bell in it will roll almost three times as far. This is at least equal to the distance that a mature poodle can roll a ball with its nose.

Even though there could be a big market on Earth for eternal kittens, most scientists agree that the human race should not pursue further involvement with the kittens. There are those, however, who believe that, having discovered the creatures, it is now our responsibility to "amuse" them.

Dr. Enos Mowbrey and his wife/cousin, Jane, both researchers at the Chicago Junebug Institute for Animal Studies, argue that the kittens could be properly amused by four miles of ball string cut into 14-inch segments. The cost of such a venture would be:

Four miles of string: 135 dollars.

Segmentation of string: 8 dollars.

Manned Mars probe to deliver string and jiggle it: 6 trillion dollars.

Currently, the only scheme for raising this money is a proposal to change Rhode Island into a casino.

Kitten theory, along with modern string theory, are embryonic notions at best. There is still much to be pursued, including exploration for similar life on other planets. When asked what other heavenly bodies might be conducive to kittens or, say, farm life such as baby chicks, Dr. Joseph "Old" MacDonald enthused, "Io, Io, oh!"

I believe the title of the thread has "picture" in it.