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Originally Posted by NorCalDoug
In the days before there was a Shahram, someone had to fill the roll 
I now bow before Shahram...
I think I'll start a cult. |
Okay, that doesn't sound too bad. To become a Shahruslim, you have to observe the Five Pillars of Shahrislam...
Faith or belief in the Oneness of God, or like, the Duplicity of God, or Gods, or, like, whatever, I'm still kinda working on that one;
Establishment of the daily prayers, or, like not so much prayers, but like givin' props to the Creator and pouring the first sip out for the homies that ain't here;
Concern for and almsgiving to the needy, so like throw some change to the dude that sits in front of the pharmacy once in a while, and it wouldn't hurt to throw an extra buck or two in the lady's g-string when you're at the strip club;
Observation of Shahramadan, which is kinda like fasting, only instead of not eating, you just eat. You can fast in between snacks and meals if you like, but not too much. When the sun goes down, much beer and pork products and pork biproducts and hot sauce must be imbibed to the point of abdominal distention and grunting in tongues. Only the smallest children and the oldest and most infirmed may not observe Shahramadan, which is cool 'cause like, more booze and rinds for the rest of us.....ah yeah.
The pilgrimage to Moab/Pink's Hot Dogs/Baja California/Rubicon/Sam's Hof Brau for those who are able;
Sound good? Hey, it sure beats martyrdom! Woo-ha!