I was in such despair over not being able to drive her tomorrow I dove into drilling out the easy-out. I did it without ruining the cover. Then I tapped the bolt hole.
I didn't have a replacement gasket, but the upper from my original still had a ton of paper gasket left. So I put some high-temp gasket seal on it for good measure, put some anti-seize on the bolts after cleaning them with a wire wheel and put her back together. Then I used the same rtv stuff between the housing and the block and bolted the whole thing back on.
I'm sure it's still going to leak without proper gaskets, and I really want to find a correct lower half, but I'll be driving it tomorrow!